


suffering circle

by jialin



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Gen, Group chat, Humor, Kpop references, M/M, Rated T for swearing, chatfic, hopefully its not too ooc, i tried to make the texting casual but for the most part everything is grammatically correct rip, i try with my jokes i really do lol, idk what im doing this is my first ao3 fic, lots and lots of swearing courtesy of shirabu lol, mentions of kawagata bc i couldn't resist lmao, next gen captains, probably a bit of angst later on, relationships will be added as the story progresses - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-19
Updated: 2017-12-08
Packaged: 2018-10-07 12:42:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10360761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jialin/pseuds/jialin
Summary: akaaAASHIII:Hey, can I add someone else to the chat? I just want to drag him into our little suffering circle.shigeru:...suffering circlepure evil:truer words have never been spokenshigeruhas renamed the conversation to “suffering circle”a rekt man:nice lmao





	1. mistake** is what you meant

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Spice Girls](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9442478) by [Beewachan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beewachan/pseuds/Beewachan). 



> This is my first fic on ao3 (on any site, really), and it took me a ridiculously long time to finish for just a simple chatfic.
> 
> (I didn't proofread this lmao too lazy to).
> 
> ~
> 
>  **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** Terushima Yuuji
> 
>  **Ennoshita:** Ennoshita Chikara
> 
>  **salty shirabitch:** Shirabu Kenjirou
> 
>  **fuckingkuchi:** Futakuchi Kenji
> 
>  **shigeru:** Yahaba Shigeru
> 
>  **i am the tiger:** Yamamoto Taketora
> 
>  **akaaAASHIII:** Akaashi Keiji
> 
>  **segurosnake:** Seguro Akihiko
> 
>  **toadwada:** Towada Yoshiki
> 
>  **komaki yuzuru:** Komaki Yuzuru

_(April 10th, 2:54 am)_

**_TeruMEMEa Yuuji_ ** _added_ **_fuckingkuchi_** _,_ **_Ennoshita_** _,_ **_salty shirabitch_** _, and_ **_shigeru_ ** _to this conversation_

**_TeruMEMEa Yuuji_ ** _has renamed this conversation to “new captains new chat”_

**Ennoshita:**...it’s three in the morning. why are you awake

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** shhh this is _important_ Ennoshita

**Ennoshita:** what is this

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** let me explain, shush

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** so!!! tmrw is the 1st day of our 3rd year!!!

**Ennoshita:** yes it is now go to sleep and leave me alone 

**_Ennoshita_ ** _has left the conversation_

**_TeruMEMEa Yuuji_ ** _added_ **_Ennoshita_ ** _to this conversation_

**Ennoshita:** _why_

**salty shirabitch:** ...wtf 

**salty shirabitch:** why is seijoh's setter here

**salty shirabitch:** and the annoying spiker from datekou

**salty shirabitch:** i hate both of them

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** love u too

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** nice nickname btw

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** pretty accurate

**salty shirabitch:** ... _die_

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** anyway

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** since today will be our first day as captain 

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** i thought we could have this chat to discuss captain-y things

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** like

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** idk, strategies

**salty shirabitch:** why would we talk about game strategies with rival teams

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** i meant strategies on how to be captain

**Ennoshita:** ...that sounds pretty smart actually

**Ennoshita:** not sure if i trust any of you in this chat to give good advice though

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** RUDE 

**fuckingkuchi:** lol didnt kno ennoshita was capable of that

**salty shirabitch:** who said you could be here 

**fuckingkuchi:** excuse u who said _u_ could be here 

**Ennoshita:** well this is a great start

**Ennoshita:** why can’t you let me sleep

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** FINE go sleep 

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** but dont leave this chat plz 

**salty shirabitch:** i’m leaving i don’t want anything to do with seijoh’s setter and datekou’s blocker

**_salty shirabitch_ ** _has left the conversation_

**fuckingkuchi:** wow the salt

**_TeruMEMEa Yuuji_ ** _added_ **_salty shirabitch_ ** _into this conversation_

**salty shirabitch:** fuck you all

**shigeru:** back at you 

**shigeru:** this woke me up two mins ago wtf 

**Ennoshita:** welcome to our eventual demise, yahaba 

**salty shirabitch:** great now _he’s_ awake too 

**shigeru:** no one wants you here either

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** okay no more leaving plz

**shigeru:** no

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** YAHABA PLZ

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** fine yknow what lets compromise

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** no more texting or leaving 

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** at least till we come back from school and then we can talk captain to captain

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** sound good?

**salty shirabitch:** no

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** SHIRABU

**Ennoshita:** fine. now bye 

**_Ennoshita_ ** _is offline_

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** okay now all of u stay

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** if any of u leave i will hunt u down and kill u

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** bye ~ !

===[+]===

_(April 8th, 7:42 pm)_

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** okay ur all still here. good

**salty shirabitch:** can i leave now

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** SHIRABU NO

**Ennoshita:** give it a chance shirabu

**Ennoshita:** who knows this might actually be useful

**salty shirabitch:** on one hand

**salty shirabitch:** ennoshita’s the only sane one in this group besides me 

**fuckingkuchi:** youre not sane but carry on

**salty shirabitch:** fuck off

**salty shirabitch:** on the other hand

**salty shirabitch:** karasuno deserves to burn

**Ennoshita:**...i didn’t even play in the match

**salty shirabitch:** fine i’ll stay

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** YAY

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** ennoshita my man ur truly a miracle

**Ennoshita:** mistake**

**Ennoshita:** is what you meant 

**fuckingkuchi:** …

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** ennoshita _be happy_

**Ennoshita:** not possible i’m dead inside

**salty shirabitch:** this chat is truly a mistake is what you meant

**fuckingkuchi:** ur face is a mistake

**salty shirabitch:**....kys

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** ANYWAY

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** wheres yahaba at?

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** he hasnt said anything since this morning

**salty shirabitch:** dead 

**salty shirabitch:** or shipped off to the far ends of the universe to never be seen again

**salty shirabitch:** either is fine by me

**shigeru:** _you’ll_ be fucking dead by the end of this 

**fuckingkuchi:** oh look a wild yahaba has appeared

**shigeru:** you too futakuchi

**Ennoshita:** well there we go

**Ennoshita:** of course one would answer the call of his species 

**salty shirabitch:** DID YOU JUST

**salty shirabitch:** PUT ME INTO THE SAME CATEGORY AS FUCKING YAHABA 

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** LMAOOOOOO

**salty shirabitch:** FORGET WHAT I SAID EARLIER YOU DESERVE TO BURN ALONGSIDE KARASUNO 

**Ennoshita:** whoops

**fuckingkuchi:** i can hear the sarcasm from here 

**fuckingkuchi:** who wouldve thought that the calm collected new captain of karasuno could be this savage

**shigeru:** i put my phone down for _two fucking seconds_ and this is what you do ennoshita

**shigeru:** i s2g i will _murder_ you in interhigh

**Ennoshita:** good luck with that

**salty shirabitch:** no _we_ will murder karasuno 

**salty shirabitch:** we’re definitely going to win this time 

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** we are supposed to be _friends_ here guys 

**salty shirabitch:** NO

**shigeru:** NO

**fuckingkuchi:** awww how tsundere

**salty shirabitch:** fucking die 

**shigeru:** i’m leaving. bye satan spawns

**Ennoshita:** ...is he actually gone?

**Ennoshita:** wow i’m surprised he didn't actually leave the chat

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** same tbh

**salty shirabitch:** i wish he did 

**Ennoshita:** why can't you two get along?

**fuckingkuchi:** says the person who roasted the living shit out of evry1 lmao

**Ennoshita:** that was the past

**TeruMEMEa Yuuju:** yahaba come back plz!!! r u still reading the texts?

**Ennoshita:** you can't escape our eventual demise, yahaba, and you know that 

**salty shirabitch:** i hope he dies

**shigeru:** i hope _you_ die 

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** ayyy yahabas back 

**Ennoshita:** come again to answer one of your own, i see

**shigeru:** STOP 

**fuckingkuchi:** AYYYYYYYYY NICE KILL

**salty shirabitch:** fuck yourself

**Ennoshita:** i’d rather not 

**salty shirabitch:** i will end you

**fuckingkuchi:** me or ennoshita? 

**salty shirabitch:** both of you

**salty shirabitch:** on second thought all of you

**salty shirabitch:** die in the worst way possible please 

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** ...rude 

**_salty shirabitch_** _’s nickname is now_ ** _ultimate_** **_saltshaker v2_** _._  

**ultimate saltshaker v2:** ... _who_

**Ennoshita:** i’m 100% innocent

**fuckingkuchi:** sure u r 

**shigeru:** lmao how fitting

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** whos v1?

**Ennoshita:** tsukishima of course

**fuckingkuchi:** what do u mean?

**fuckingkuchi:** taehyung is obviously v 

**shigeru:** omg YES

**ultimate saltshaker v2:** who the fuck

**shigeru:** you bitch

**shigeru:** taehyung is my bias how dare you

**fuckingkuchi:** SAME TAEHYUNG IS BAE

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** isnt he that guy from bts 

**fuckingkuchi:** yes??? how do u not kno??? 

**Ennoshita:** please elaborate there are seven

**shigeru:** this one

_**shigeru** sent a [photo](https://www.instagram.com/p/BP-SVcFD2Qj/?taken-by=bts.bighitofficial)_

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** oh hes p hot

**fuckingkuchi:** i kno rite???

**ultimate saltshaker v2:** oh i get it now 

**ultimate saltshaker v2:** he’s one of the guys from those kpop music videos taichi always listens to 

**fuckingkuchi:** oh look u kno sth

**ultimate saltshaker v2:** fuck off 

**ultimate saltshaker v2:** i don’t get it though? the songs are in korean, and you don’t understand korean so...?

**shigeru:** excuse you

**shigeru:** why live if you’re going to die anyway

**fuckingkuchi:** it’s okay hes just too stupid to appreciate taehyung and bts 

**ultimate saltshaker v2:**...i will kill you

**ultimate saltshaker v2:** also yahaba, that comparison was absolute shit

**shigeru:** no _you’re_ shit

**shigeru:** kpop and life are one and the same okay

**Ennoshita:**...when did this turn into a kpop discussion

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**fuckingkuchi:** kpop is amazing and deserves to be discussed

**fuckingkuchi:** in a good way 

**Ennoshita:**...sure, i’ll take your word for it 

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** this chat isnt even about kpop, its about us captains

**ultimate saltshaker v2:** you consider yourself a captain?

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** ive been captain longer than u have so u cant talk

**fuckingkuchi:** ooooh burn

**Ennoshita:** oh wait that reminds me

**Ennoshita:** since we’re doing this anyway can i add the tokyo captains? 

**shigeru:** tokyo captains?

**Ennoshita:** yamamoto taketora from nekoma and akaashi keiji from fukurodani

**Ennoshita:** they’re schools in tokyo, we have training camp with them

**shigeru:** i’ve heard of fukurodani, they’re a really good team

**Ennoshita:** yeah, so is nekoma

**Ennoshita:** akaashi’s a calm guy. you’ll like him

**ultimate saltshaker v2:** good 

**Ennoshita:** yamamoto, on the other hand…

**Ennoshita:** um

**Ennoshita:** y’know tanaka from my team right?

**ultimate saltshaker v2:** oh no

**Ennoshita:** basically like him

**ultimate saltshaker v2:** oh NO

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** sure why not add them lol 

**ultimate saltshaker v2:** ENNOSHITA NO 

**_Ennoshita_ ** _added_ **_i am the tiger_ ** _and_ **_akaaAASHIII_ ** _to this conversation_

**ultimate saltshaker v2:** ennoshita _i trusted you_

**fuckingkuchi:** savage

**fuckingkuchi:** im starting to like u chikara ღゝ◡╹)ノ♡

**Ennoshita:** no one said you could use my first name

**fuckingkuchi:** ಥ_ಥ

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** LMAO GET REKT 

**_fuckingkuchi_** _’s nickname is now_ ** _a_** **_rekt man_**

**akaaAASHIII:**...What’s happening?

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** futakuchi is getting rekt thats whats happening

**Ennoshita:** hey, akaashi. how are you? 

**akaaAASHIII:** I’m fine. Why did you add me into this group chat?

**Ennoshita:** terushima made the chat for the new team captains and i felt that since you are one too, it would be helpful to add you into the chat

**akaaAASHIII:** Who’s Terushima?

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** thats me! terushima yuuji, captain of johzenji ever since spring high 

**akaaAASHIII:**...Who else is there? 

**shigeru:** yahaba shigeru. i’m from aoba jousai and we’re obviously going to beat shiratorizawa next year

**ultimate saltshaker v2:** biTCH 

**ultimate saltshaker v2:** shirabu kenjirou, captain of shiratorizawa’s boys’ volleyball team and we’re going to crush aoba jousai underfoot. count on it

**shigeru:** you wish

**Ennoshita:**...is futakuchi going to introduce himself?

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** i guess u roasted him too hard lol

**a rekt man:** nah im still here

**shigeru:** with your reputation gone and ego in tatters

**a rekt man:** stfu yahaba ur face has done worse for u 

**shigeru:** fucking _die_

**a rekt man:** im futakuchi kenji, from datekougyou, and the coolest guy in this chat

**akaaAASHIII:** I’ve known you for ten seconds and i beg to differ

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** OMG

**shigeru:** LMAO

**ultimate saltshaker v2:** ennoshita you were right, i do like this guy

**Ennoshita:** well that was an interesting start 

**Ennoshita:** akaashi do you know where yamamoto is?

**akaaAASHIII:** I’m not sure. Perhaps he’s actually being productive instead of talking on this group chat.

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:**...omg

**shigeru:** savage

**i am the tiger:** oi what is this

**Ennoshita:** a group chat for captains

**i am the tiger:**??? y do i need this 

**ultimate saltshaker v2:** ask terushima he’s the one that made this stupid thing in the first place

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** its not stupid!!!

**ultimate saltshaker v2:** you’re stupid so you wouldn't understand that the chat is also stupid

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** then y r u here ;)

**ultimate saltshaker v2:**...i place a reluctant trust on ennoshita 

**i am the tiger:** this is rlly cool i like this idea

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** see!!! some1 agrees w me!!!

**Ennoshita:** the idea is great, not sure about the validity of the “advice” you’re giving me…

**shigeru:** same

**akaaAASHIII:** Same.

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** r00d

**a rekt man:** wat about me i was captain just as long as him

**Ennoshita:** the day i place faith in you is the day you’re going to win against the new karasuno– _never_  

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** NICE

**i am the tiger:** ayyyyyy savage

**fuckingkuchi:** ennoshita u wound me ‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚

**ultimate saltshaker v2:** datekou will never beat karasuno because _we_ will

**shigeru:** you wish

**shigeru:** seijoh’s obviously gonna win 

**Ennoshita:** ha then why didn’t either of you make it to nationals last year for the spring tournament

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:**...omg

**akaaAASHIII:** Nice kill.

**shigeru:**...fucking die in a hole 

**ultimate saltshaker v2:** and there goes the trust i placed on you, ennoshita. i hate you 

**Ennoshita:** why did you even trust me in the first place lmao 

**i am the tiger:** yea hes evil dont trust him 

**i am the tiger:** i did and i regret

**shigeru:** regret what

**i am the tiger:** evrythin tbh

**_Ennoshita_ '** _s nickname is now_ **_pure evil_ **

**pure evil:** well you’re not wrong

**akaaAASHIII:** Hey, can I add someone else to the chat? I just want to drag him into our little suffering circle.

**shigeru:** ... _suffering circle_

**pure evil:** truer words have never been spoken 

**_shigeru_ ** _has renamed the conversation to “suffering circle”_

**a rekt man:** nice lmao

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** sure y not u can add any1 as long as theyre a captain lmao

**akaaAASHIII:** Okay. I’m adding him right now.

**_akaaAASHIII_ ** _added_ **_segurosnake_ ** _to this conversation_

**i am the tiger:** akaashi _no_

**akaaAASHIII:** Akaashi, yes.

**segurosnake:**...what

**segurosnake:** akaashi y am i here 

**i am the tiger:** NO GTFO

**segurosnake:** r00d

**segurosnake:** what did i ever do to u

**akaaAASHIII:** This is a new captains’ chat, Seguro. You’re the new captain of Nohebi, so it’s only right to add you as well.

**akaaAASHIII:** Also I’m going to suffer and I’m dragging you down with me. :D

**segurosnake:** wow thx

**i am tiger:** I DONT WANT A DIRTY SNAKE IN HERE

**pure evil:** yamamoto calm down

**pure evil:** seguro why don’t you introduce yourself?

**segurosnake:** y do u sound like a teacher talking to a new kid 

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** waIT 

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** lemme add a few more ppl b4 u do that 

**_TeruMEMEa Yuuji_ ** _added_ **_komaki yuzuru_ ** _and_ **_toadwada_ ** _to this conversation_

**a rekt man:** who r these ppl lmao 

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** other captains duh 

**komaki yuzuru:**...oh look someone remembered my existence 

**toadwada:** same

**a rekt man:** seriously who r u guys 

**komaki yuzuru:** komaki yuzuru, captain of kakugawa

**toadwada:** towada yoshiki, captain of ougi minami

**pure evil:** ohhh i remember you guys from spring prelims

**komaki yuzuru:** well thats a first

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** rip

**ultimate saltshaker v2:**...i literally don’t recall either of you 

**toadwada:** of course u dont

**toadwada:** ur shiratorizawa’s setter right? 

**toadwada:** y would u remember us tiny useless teams

**shigeru:** shirabu how mean you hurt toad’s feelings D:

**toadwada:**...no 

**toadwada:** my feelings arent hurt. im just annoyed 

**toadwada:** and ew no dont call me toad i dont like that mario character 

**i am the tiger:** Y???

**i am the tiger:** HES SO CUTE

**toadwada:** hes probably hiding evil intentions under that face 

**shigeru:** so cynical wow

**segurosnake:** so...has everyone forgotten about me

**i am the tiger:** i wish i did tbh 

**segurosnake:** r00d

**akaaAASHIII:** Sure, go ahead and introduce yourself to our suffering circle.

**segurosnake:** im seguro akihiko, captain of nohebi. its nice to meet u all :) 

**i am the tiger:** stop faking being nice

**segurosnake:** r00d

**ultimate saltshaker v2:** This is the third time you’ve used that. stop.

**segurosnake:** r00d

**shigeru:**...and that’s the fourth time

**ultimate saltshaker v2:** i don’t like seguro can we delete his existence

**i am the tiger:** yes plz

**pure evil:** delete my existence too while you’re at it 

**komaki yuzuru:** mine too

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** tsk tsk such angsty teenagers

**pure evil:**...no 

**a rekt man:** there r 5 stages of grief and the 1st stage is denial ennoshita 

**komaki yuzuru:** oh good only four stages left till i am free

**akaaAASHIII:**...Are you okay?

**komaki yuzuru:** no

**pure evil:** lmao same

**segurosnake:** akaashi who is evry1 else i only kno yamamoto and u 

**akaaAASHIII:** I’ll tell you privately. Komaki and Towada, too.

**komaki yuzuru:** thank you

**toadwada:** thx

**i am the tiger:** i wish i didnt kno u

**segurosnake:** r00d

**ultimate saltshaker v2:** n O 

**ultimate saltshaker v2:** S T O P 

**shigeru:** please continue

**shigeru:** i love it when people annoy shirabu 

**segurosnake:** kk lol 

**segurosnake:** r00d 

**segurosnake:** r00d 

**segurosnake:** r00d 

**ultimate saltshaker v2:** YAHABA I HATE YOU 

**segurosnake:** r00d 

**segurosnake:** r00d 

**shigeru:** the feeling is mutual 

**segurosnake:** r00d

**segurosnake:** r00d 

**segurosnake:** r00d 

**segurosnake:** r00d 

**segurosnake:** r00d 

**segurosnake:** r00d

**segurosnake:** r00d

**segurosnake:** r00d 

**segurosnake:** r00d 

**segurosnake:** r00d

**segurosnake:** r00d

**segurosnake:** r00d

**ultimate saltshaker v2:** stOP 

**segurosnake:** r00d 

**segurosnake:** r00d 

**segurosnake:** r00d 

**segurosnake:** r00d 

**segurosnake:** r00d

**segurosnake:** r00d 

**segurosnake:** r00d 

**segurosnake:** k im done my fingers r tired 

**ultimate saltshaker v2:** t h a N K 

**a rekt man:** pathetic i can go on for 30 min

**a rekt man:** i did it once to kamasaki 

**a rekt man:** he blocked me on skype for 5 months lmao

**segurosnake:**...wow... 

**pure evil:**...why am i not surprised

**pure evil:** oh right because i know you’re a little shit 

**a rekt man:** UR SO MEAN

**shigeru:** i’m sincerely impressed ennoshita 

**pure evil:** thanks

**a rekt man:** im ded ennoshita u have killed me

**pure evil:** good. now i can be at peace

**ultimate saltshaker v2:** nice 

**_a rekt man_ ** _’s nickname is now_ **_a dead man_ **

**_pure evil_ ** _’s nickname is now_ **_fucking savage_ **

**komaki yuzuru:**...i don’t even know anymore 

**komaki yuzuru:** anyway i gotta eat dinner now 

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** noooooo komaki dont leave 

**komaki yuzuru:** i must go through the other four stages of grief bye guys 

**fucking savage:** same i have to go now

**fucking savage:** i’ll hop aboard this massive trainwreck tomorrow even as my sanity begs me not to

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:**...rude D: 

**i am the tiger:** ima leave too, dont wanna spend any more time w snakey

**segurosnake:** r00d 

**ultimate saltshaker v2:**...don’t you dare start again 

**ultimate saltshaker v2:** but i also have to go 

**ultimate saltshaker v2:** bye to everyone except yahaba and seguro i don’t like them

**shigeru:** i don’t like you either

**segurosnake:** r00d

**akaaAASHIII:** I have to leave as well. Bye, everyone. 

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** r y’all gonna leave now or

**toadwada:** yes 

**a dead man:** yes

**shigeru:** yes 

**segurosnake:** yes

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:**...fine

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** talk to yall tmrw!


	2. there is no redemption

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **fucking savage:** ffs i’ll just add the other captains right now
> 
> _**fucking savage** added **Sakusa** , **starboy** , and **miYAS** to this conversation _
> 
> **akaaAASHIII:** I am waving goodbye to my sanity at this very moment.
> 
>  **komaki yuzuru:** i never had sanity tbh
> 
>  **fucking savage:** what sanity lmao
> 
>  **starboy:** what is this??????
> 
>  **akaaAASHIII:** This is the place of your worst nightmares. There is no escape. _There is no redemption._
> 
>  **starboy:** um what the fuck?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *shows up two months later* Hey look guys I finally updated.
> 
> I literally have no excuse for updating this late. The past two weeks have been hectic but before that I had plenty of time, I'm just really lazy.
> 
> I mean Chapter 1 took me over three months to write so I guess I've improved lmao.
> 
> Once again, I did not proofread. *starts noticing all the mistakes after I upload chapter*
> 
> ~
> 
>  **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** Terushima Yuuji
> 
>  **fucking savage:** Ennoshita Chikara
> 
>  **ultimate saltshaker v2:** Shirabu Kenjirou
> 
>  **a dead man:** Futakuchi Kenji
> 
>  **shigeru:** Yahaba Shigeru
> 
>  **i am the tiger:** Yamamoto Taketora
> 
>  **akaaAASHIII:** Akaashi Keiji
> 
>  **segurosnake:** Seguro Akihiko
> 
>  **toadwada:** Towada Yoshiki
> 
>  **komaki yuzuru:** Komaki Yuzuru
> 
>  **Sakusa:** Sakusa Kiyoomi
> 
>  **starboy:** Hoshiumi Kourai
> 
>  **miYAS:** Miya Atsumu

_chat: suffering circle_

_(April 10th, 11:55 PM)_

**fucking savage:** good night :D

===[+]===

_(April 11th, 12:31 AM)_

**fucking savage:** good morning :D

 **komaki yuzuru:** good morning

===[+]===

_(April 11th, 6:42 AM)_

**ultimate saltshaker v2:** WHY THE FUCK WERE YOU TWO AWAKE

 **ultimate saltshaker v2:** AT FUCKIGN MIDNIGHT

 **ultimate saltshaker v2:** _MIDNIGHT_

 **fucking savage** **:**  ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **komaki yuzuru:**  ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **ultimate saltshaker v2:** DO YOU NOT NEED SLEEP

 **komaki yuzuru:** no not really

 **fucking savage:** sleep is for the weak

 **a dead man:** noooo u 2 need to sleep D: its not good to stay up

 **fucking savage:** i am suspicious of your sudden concern but thanks i guess

 **a dead man:** excuse u i can be nice!

 **shigeru:** are you sure about that

 **a dead man:** yahaaabaaaaaa where did our bonding-over-taehyung truce goooooo D:

 **shigeru:** _> a rekt man: stfu yahaba ur face has done worse for u_

_ > shigeru: fucking die _

**shigeru:** it broke when this happened

 **a dead man:** u started it!!!

 **ultimate saltshaker v2:** jesus christ how old are you guys five

 **shigeru:** yes but i still have the capability of kicking your ass

 **ultimate saltshaker v2:** then explain to me why seijou has never won against shiratorizawa

 **shigeru:**...fuck you

 **ultimate saltshaker v2:** i win :D

 **fucking savage:** well that was some quality entertainment

 **komaki yuzuru:** if i wasn’t so tired i’d be laughing

 **a dead man:** see!! u guys should sleep!!

 **komaki yuzuru:** nah

 **komaki yuzuru:** i’m perpetually tired but i don’t sleep

 **fucking savage:** i relate to that so much

 **a dead man:** noooo chikara u have to sleep

 **fucking savage:** no don’t use my first name you haven’t signed the contract

 **ultimate saltshaker v2:** what is this fifty shades of grey

 **a dead man:** more like filthy shades of grey lmao

 **komaki yuzuru:** noW WAIT A SECOND

 **komaki yuzuru:** futakuchi did you just exclude me??

 **a dead man:** what

 **komaki yuzuru:** > _a dead man: noooo chikara u have to sleep_

 **komaki yuzuru:** you left me out how dare you >:(

 **shigeru:** the second stage of grief is anger, as illustrated here

 **komaki yuzuru:** good i’m closer to the sweet release of death

 **fucking savage:** the last stage of grief isn’t death but okay

 **ultimate saltshaker v2:** okay i have to go to morning practice soon so all of you shut the fuck up so my phone doesn’t buzz nonstop the whole time

 **shigeru:**??just turn off notifications??

 **shigeru:**??are you stupid??

 **ultimate saltshaker v2:** ……………………….bye

 **_ultimate saltshaker v2_ ** _is offline_

 **shigeru:** wow okay dodging the question

 **a dead man:** he probs doesnt kno how to turn them off lmaooo

 **shigeru:** so he _is_ stupid

 **shigeru:** i mean i knew that already but still

===[+]===

_(April 11th, 7:21 AM)_

**segurosnake:** r00d

 **segurosnake:** r00d

 **segurosnake:** r00d

 **segurosnake:** r00d

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 **segurosnake:** r00d

 **segurosnake:** r00d

 **ultimate saltshaker v2:** S T O P

 **ultimate saltshaker v2:** _FUCKING STOP_

 **segurosnake:** turn ur notifs off lol

 **ultimate saltshaker v2:** I DONT KNOW HOW TO OKAY BYE I HATE YOU ALL

 **segurosnake:** lol

 **shigeru:** he admitted it niceeee

===[+]===

_(April 11th, 12:06 PM)_

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** lmao shirabu i thought u were smarter than this

 **ultimate saltshaker v2:** I FUCKING HATE YOU SHUT UP

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** luv u 2

 **ultimate saltshaker v2:** _GO AWAY_

 **akaaAASHIII:** Shirabu, you do realize that you can just leave the conversation right?

 **ultimate saltshaker v2:** but someone’s gonna fucking add me back

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** NO DONT LEAVE D:

 **shigeru:** hey let’s all leave and make terushima sad

 **fucking savage:** yesssss

 **komaki yuzuru:** sure why not lol

 **i am tiger:** yea lets do that

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** YALL SO MEAN D: D: D:

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** but ill just add evry1 back tho :D :D :D

 **shigeru:** damnit there goes the plan

 **ultimate saltshaker v2:** i asked taichi how to turn notifications off and he just laughed at me

 **shigeru:** ha

 **ultimate saltshaker v2:** fuck you and please tell me how i’m suffering

 **shigeru:** good

 **toadwada:** no one tell him

 **komaki yuzuru:** kk lol

 **ultimate saltshaker v2:** _I HATE YOU ALL_

 **ultimate saltshaker v2:** akaashi you’re a decent person please tell me how to turn notifications off

 **segurosnake:** hes not nice but ok

 **akaaAASHIII:** Sorry, but if we’re suffering, you’re suffering :D

 **ultimate saltshaker v2:** AKAASHI I HATE YOU

 **segurosnake:** told u lmao

 **ultimate saltshaker v2:** IM TEXTING USHIJIMA-SAN AND ASKING HIM BYE

 **_ultimate saltshaker v2_ ** _is offline_

 **shigeru:** good riddance lol

 **shigeru:** akaashi you’re my new favorite in this chat thank you

 **akaaAASHIII:** No problem.

 **a dead man:** what abt me? D:

 **shigeru:** lmao you’re no one’s favorite

 **a dead man:** RUDE

 **a dead man:** chikara loves me tho <3

 **fucking savage:** chikara does not, in fact, love him

 **a dead man:** </3

 **i am the tiger:** get rekt

 **toadwada:** nice kill ennoshita

 **fucking savage:** thanks

 **fucking savage:** oh also i mentioned this chat during morning practice today and kageyama gave me the skype of some more captains

 **fucking savage:** should i add them

 **akaaAASHIII:** My sanity begs no but my sadistic desire of seeing others suffer says yes.

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** is this chat that bad? D:

 **akaaAASHIII:** yes

 **fucking savage:** yes

 **shigeru:** yes

 **komaki yuzuru:** yes

 **toadwada:** yes

 **segurosnake:** yes

 **i am the tiger:** yes

 **a dead man:**...its okay i guess

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** YAY FUTAKUCHI

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** ILY

 **akaaAASHIII:** But he loves Ennoshita.

 **fucking savage:** no stop

 **fucking savage:** ffs i’ll just add the other captains right now

 **_fucking savage_ ** _added_ **_Sakusa_ ** _,_ **_starboy_ ** _, and_ **_miYAS_ ** _to this conversation_

 **akaaAASHIII:** I am waving goodbye to my sanity at this very moment.

 **komaki yuzuru:** i never had sanity tbh

 **fucking savage:** what sanity lmao

 **starboy:** what is this??????

 **akaaAASHIII:** This is the place of your worst nightmares. There is no escape. _There is no redemption._

 **starboy:** um what the fuck?

 **toadwada:** ^^^ current mood tbh

 **fucking savage:** my mood 24/7

 **starboy:** i am so confused rn

 **Sakusa:** so am i

 **i am the tiger:** sakusa??? sakusa kiyoomi???

 **Sakusa:** yes that’s me

 **i am the tiger:** BEST HIGH SCHOOL ACE IN JAPAN??

 **Sakusa:** stop using caps lock it’s annoying

 **i am the tiger:** D:

 **segurosnake:** ha

 **i am the tiger:** shut up snakey ur spamming is even more annoying

 **segurosnake:** :^D

 **ultimate saltshaker v2:** oh no

 **segurosnake:** r00d

 **segurosnake:** r00d

 **segurosnake:** r00d

 **segurosnake:** r00d

 **segurosnake:** r00d

 **segurosnake:** r00d

 **segurosnake:** r00d

 **segurosnake:** r00d

 **segurosnake:** r00d

 **segurosnake:** r00d

 **segurosnake:** r00d

 **segurosnake:** r00d

 **segurosnake:** r00d

 **segurosnake:** r00d

 **_ultimate saltshaker v2_ ** _has left the conversation_

 **shigeru:** good he’s gone

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** nooooo shirabuuuuuu

 **_TeruMEMEa Yuuji_ ** _added_ **_ultimate saltshaker v2_ ** _into this chat_

 **shigeru:** damnit

 **ultimate saltshaker v2:** FFS STOP ADDING ME BACK

 **ultimate saltshaker v2:** LET ME LEAVE PLEASE I’M S U F F E R I N G

 **akaaAASHIII:** *points at chat name* That’s the point, unfortunately.

 **ultimate saltshaker v2:** why won’t you let me be _happy_

 **miYAS:** i go ov my phonr abd sufdenly im being spmzmmrd wotg messagrs whst tht fuck

 **shigeru:** um

 **akaaAASHIII:** ...What did you just say?

 **a dead man:** is that even english lmao

 **miYAS:** of ciurde ti is i jyst canr tupr wekl

 **fucking savage:** oh right, kageyama warned me of this

 **fucking savage:** apparently miya can’t type coherently to save his life

 **akaaAASHIII:** Well, he probably doesn’t have much of a life anyway.

 **miYAS:** RYDR

 **miYAS:** I HAVR A WONFERFIL LUFE THANL TOU VRU MYCK AND ITS BETTRT THSN YOURS PROVAVLT

 **toadwada:** nice, akaashi

 **akaaAASHIII:**  Thank you.

 **Sakusa:** stop digitally screaming please

 **a dead man:** ...digitally screaming

 **a dead man:** nice term i think ill use it now

 **starboy:** ...does this happen often or

 **komaki yuzuru:** pretty much yeah

 **starboy:** nice i think im gonna stay

 **ultimate saltshaker v2:** you’re going to regret that

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** wait guys we gotta be _profesional_

 **segurosnake:** not very professional that you can’t spell professional right lmao

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** shhhh let me work my magic

 **_TeruMEMEa Yuuji_ ** _has renamed this conversation to “The New Captains”_

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** there we go

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** now the newcomers have to introduce themselves

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** and akaashi will introduce us to them later

 **akaaAASHIII:** I did it once and I am not doing it again.

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** akaashi plz

 **i am the tiger:** i will do it!!!!!

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** thanks yamamoto ur the best

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** anyway starboy u go first

 **starboy:** ok!

 **starboy:** im hoshiumi kourai from kamomedai high school and im gonna lead my team to victory this year ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

 **ultimate saltshaker v2:** ha you wish shiratorizawa’s going to kick your ass

 **starboy:** u can try ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** kay miyas u go now and plz try to be understandable

 **miYAS:** im miya atsumu thr captaiv if inarizaki and i sm bettru yhan youvguyys st evetuthibg

 **akaaAASHIII:** ...I think he said, “I’m Miya Atsumu, the captain of Inarizaki, and I am better than you guys at everything.”

 **toadwada:** akaashis officially our translator

 **akaaAASHIII:** I mean it’s not _that_ hard to understand, mostly...

 **a dead man:** miya ur not better than chikara ;3

 **fucking savage:** first of all, stop using my first name

 **fucking savage:** second of all, your statement is a lie please stop

 **a dead man:** ennoshitaaaaaaa

 **fucking savage:** well at least you listened to my first rule

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** okay sakusa now its ur turn

 **Sakusa:** ...no

 **Sakusa:** besides yamamoto seems to know who i am already, unfortunately

 **i am the tiger:** _...unfortunately??_

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** but u gotta do it sakusa pretend this is a business meeting or sth

 **Sakusa:** ...fine

 **Sakusa:** i am sakusa kiyoomi from itachiyama academy. captain, wing spiker, and ace. nice to meet you all, i think

 **komaki yuzuru:** _...i think_

 **toadwada:** me too lmao

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** cri i put my blood sweat and tears into this chat and yall dissing it

 **a dead man:** NAE PI TTAM NUMUL

 **a dead man:** NAE MAJIMAK CHUMEUL DA

 **shigeru:** GAJYEOGA, GA

 **miYAS:** nae pi ttam numul

 **miYAS:** nae chagaun sumeul da

 **miYAS:** gajyeoga, ga

 **miYAS:** nae pi ttam numul

 **shigeru:** *gasps* _he’s one of us_

 **a dead man:** and somehow he typed the lyrics without a problem

 **miYAS:** my lovr gor bts triumohs obr my insvluity to typrt corrctly

 **segurosnake:**??? wat

 **starboy:** i dont understand what just happened

 **ultimate saltshaker v2:** oh its the korean thing again

 **shigeru:** _excuse you_ it’s not a “korean thing” it’s _KPOP_

 **ultimate saltshaker v2:** still don’t get it but okay

 **a dead man:** you dont get anything saltyboo

 **ultimate saltshaker v2:** _...what did you just call me?_

 **komaki yuzuru:** saltyboo lmao

 **_ultimate saltshaker v2_ ** _’s nickname is now_ **_saltyboo_ **

**saltyboo:** WHOEVER DID THAT I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND MURDER YOU

 **akaaAASHIII:** Whoops. My hand slipped. I am so terribly sorry, Saltyboo.

 **saltyboo:** _I AM GOING TO CUT OFF YOUR LIMBS AND BURY YOU WHERE NO ONE WILL EVER FIND YOU_

 **i am the tiger:** LMAO

 **toadwada:** very violent

 **a dead man:** rip taehyung the 2nd and akaashi

 **shigeru:** akaashi my lord and savior

 **akaaAASHIII:** c:

 **_akaaAASHIII_ ** _’s nickname is now_ **_our lord and savior_ **

**our lord and savior:** I will carry this title with honor for the rest of my life.

 **saltyboo:** which isn’t going to be very long because i will find you and slit your throat

 **shigeru:** you can try but our lord and savior is immortal

 **our lord and savior:** c:

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** anyway, going back to our main topic

 **a dead man:** we had a main topic?

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** the newcomers, remember???

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** yamamoto create a private chat for our new friends and tell them who is who

 **i am the tiger:** okay!

 **saltyboo:** who died and made terushima in charge

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** i made this chat :P

 **saltyboo:** so how is this not a fucking shitpile by now?

 **saltyboo:** oh wait it already is nvm

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** RUDE

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** SHIRABU UR SO RUDE TO ME

 **saltyboo:** you deserve it

 **shigeru:** wait a second i must ask miya a very important question

 **miYAS:**??yrs??

 **shigeru:** who’s your bias in bts?

 **starboy:** bias means fave rite?

 **a dead man:** yes like for example taehyung is my bias i love him

 **segurosnake:** y not just say fave?

 **shigeru:** you just _don’t_

 **segurosnake:**...ok?

 **miYAS:** mt bias os jungkook byt suga is suxj a bias wrevkwr so idek anylmire

 **shigeru:** he IS omg

 **fucking savage:**...suga? sugawara-san?

 **a dead man:** nope theres a guy in bts named min yoongi aka suga his stage name

 **komaki yuzuru:** i’ve just been staring at my phone this whole time instead of eating lunch lmao i need to go do that bye guys

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** u were the first to leave yesterday too komaki ;-;

 **our lord and savior:** He’s sensible and doesn’t want to contaminate himself with this group chat.

 **komaki yuzuru:** yeah pretty much

 **_komaki yuzuru_ ** _is offline_

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** YALL SO RUDE TO ME WHYYYYYYYY

 **Sakusa:** if you type in all caps one more time i will be rude to you too

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** sakusaaa ;-;

 **saltyboo:** good you have learned

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** SHIRABU DON’T ENCOURAGE HIM D: D: D:

 **Sakusa:** the only thing we’re encouraging here is you shutting the fuck up thank you very much

 **a dead man:** wow…

 **shigeru:** now we know who not to mess with

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** > ~ < sakusa whyyy

===[+]===

_(April 11th, 7:37 PM)_

**i am the tiger:** so how was practice for u guys?

 **saltyboo:** fucking torture as usual

 **saltyboo:** taichi was moping because yamagata-san isn’t here anymore and he isN’T HELPING ME WITH ANYTHING

 **saltyboo:** goshiki was so loud i just want to sleep please stop him

 **saltyboo:** and the first-years keep calling me short like EXCUSE YOU I AM NOT THAT SHORT

 **shigeru:** you are though

 **saltyboo:** FUCK YOU

 **starboy:** does taichi hv a crush on yamagata bc it sounds like it

 **saltyboo:** oh my fucking god you have no idea

 **saltyboo:** taichi keeps on denying it like what the fuck taichi everyone knows

 **saltyboo:** even _Goshiki_ knows jesus fucking christ

 **segurosnake:** u said “fuck” four times in the past minute

 **segurosnake:** looks like u have sexual tension with someone

 **saltyboo:** _WHAT THE FUCK NO_

 **fucking savage:** is it that pinch server with dyed hair?

 **fucking savage:** i remember during the match we had against shiratorizawa last year there was so much sexual tension between you two oh my god

 **saltyboo:**...BYE

 **_saltyboo_ ** _is offline_

 **shigeru:** that was quick wow

 **i am the tiger:** what about the rest of u? was practice good?

 **Sakusa:** it went pretty well. komori helped me keep the underclassmen in line

 **toadwada:** oyasu was scaring this first year and it was really funny but coach got mad and made him run thirty laps

 **toadwada:** which was still p funny

 **miYAS:** thr fitst yests keep condusibg me and my tein brothey and i am goubg to muredr someonr like we alrdady havt diffyrent haie cokors whst more do you nabt frm us

 **miYAS:** i stg ig they do nto stip i woll dye my hair bricgt pivk becaysr tgis if so fuckibg anyonhnnig

 **our lord and savior:** When you do please send us photos.

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** lol i like how u said “when” not “if”

 **our lord and savior:** c:

 **toadwada:** what do u all even look like lol i barely know any of u

 **miYAS:** idk whar yoi look liek eiothey but i loek bettwr thrn yog

 **toadwada:** that would be more insulting if ur typing skills were better

 **toadwada:** but i guess your skills reflect ur face so theyre not going to improve anytime soon

 **toadwada:** or ever

 **a dead man:** lmao 10/10

 **Sakusa:** that was a very good insult

 **starboy:** *grabs popcorn in anticipation for the epic showdown*

 **miYAS:**...excush yoo ny face if beautivyl yall atr peasabts comoarued to my quintessusvl beauyt

 **shigeru:** huh never thought you were capable of using such fancy words like quintessential

 **fucking savage:** but does it even count he spelled it wrong

 **miYAS:** i am vry egducated okya its not mg faulf my phoene keybpard is si fuckybf tiny

 **a dead man:** tiny like ur brain lol

 **miYAS:**...im hyrt

 **miYAS:** dgewuhowfhufbnhfvf.fqbfqgvufq

 **miYAS:** Hello this is osamu, i’m atsumu’s twin brother

 **miYAS:** I don’t know who any of you are but i congratulate you all for telling atsumu the truth about his nonexistent intelligence

 **miYAS:** That is all

 **i am the tiger:** lmao even his bro

 **segurosnake:** i think i like osamu better lol

 **miYAS:** osamu is so mean he threw my phone at my face D:

 **fucking savage:** _good_

 **miYAS:** si rued

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** do u feel my pain now

 **miYAS:** yes

 **komaki yuzuru:** meanwhile

 **komaki yuzuru:** i’m tired and i just want to crawl into my bed and stay there forever and possibly die

 **fucking savage:** me too lmao

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** so angsty

 **komaki yuzuru:** :3

 **komaki yuzuru:** i am a very angsty teenager

 **Sakusa:** oh no not that face

 **Sakusa:** i hate that emoji

 **Sakusa:** komori uses it way too much

 **komaki yuzuru:** i would spam it but i’m tired so seguro you do it

 **segurosnake:** gladly :^D

 **segurosnake:** :3

 **segurosnake:** :3

 **segurosnake:** :3

 **segurosnake:** :3

 **segurosnake:** :3

 **segurosnake:** :3

 **segurosnake:** :3

 **segurosnake:** :3

 **segurosnake:** :3

 **segurosnake:** :3

 **segurosnake:** :3

 **segurosnake:** :3

 **segurosnake:** :3

 **segurosnake:** :3

 **segurosnake:** :3

 **segurosnake:** :3

 **segurosnake:** :3

 **_Sakusa_ ** _is offline_

 **segurosnake:** another target down :3

 **komaki yuzuru:** thanks man

 **segurosnake:** np :3

 **i am the tiger:** komakiiiii y did u tell snakey to spam that

 **i am the tiger:** what r ur motives

 **i am the tiger:** y hv u done this

 **shigeru:** some men just want to watch the world burn

 **komaki yuzuru:** ^^ yeah basically :3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The ending seems kind of abrupt imo but ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> I'm considering adding two other next gen captains in Chapter 3 (coming to you in two more months probably lmao), which would make it fiteen characters in this chatfic. That's a lot, but I think I can handle it.
> 
>  [tumblr](http://xjialin.tumblr.com/)
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> [my tumblr](http://randomotakurice.tumblr.com/)


	3. run

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **kaNOka:** ennoshita did you just drag me into a hostage situation
> 
>  **fucking savage:** of course not
> 
>  **fucking savage:** i dragged you into a war
> 
>  **our lord and savior:** A war of torment and anguish, one that has taken so many lives and is rooted so deeply in cruelty and hatred that very few can escape.
> 
>  **our lord and savior:** Run while you can. _Run._
> 
>  **shigeru:** *whispers* dasi run run run nan meomchul suga eobseo
> 
>  **miYAS:** nicr 
> 
> **a dead man:** ayyyyy
> 
>  **Atema:** ...what the actual fuck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayyyyy it didn't even take me a month to make the next chapter this time I've improved.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter! I probably won't update during June because of finals and stuff like that.
> 
> ~
> 
>  **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** Terushima Yuuji
> 
>  **fucking savage:** Ennoshita Chikara
> 
>  **saltyboo:** Shirabu Kenjirou
> 
>  **a dead man:** Futakuchi Kenji
> 
>  **shigeru:** Yahaba Shigeru
> 
>  **i am the tiger:** Yamamoto Taketora
> 
>  **our lord and savior:** Akaashi Keiji
> 
>  **segurosnake:** Seguro Akihiko
> 
>  **toadwada:** Towada Yoshiki
> 
>  **komaki yuzuru:** Komaki Yuzuru
> 
>  **Sakusa:** Sakusa Kiyoomi
> 
>  **starboy:** Hoshiumi Kourai
> 
>  **miYAS:** Miya Atsumu
> 
>  **kaNOka:** Amanai Kanoka
> 
>  **Atema:** Atema whatever-his-first-name-is

_chat: The New Captains_

_(April 12th, 4:57 AM)_

**shigeru:** hey miya and futakuchi are you guys on?

 **miYAS:** yrs

 **a dead man:** yep

 **shigeru:** i have a very important question: what's your favorite bts song?

 **a dead man:** I NEED U IS FCKING AMAZING

 **miYAS:** my factiroite if pribably fire its vert catcchuy  

 **shigeru:** niceeee

 **shigeru:** personally mine is blood sweat and tears

 **miYAS:** nae pi ttam numul

 **shigeru:** indeed

 **saltyboo:** it’s too fucking early for you guys to have this conversation fuck off

===[+]===

_(April 12th, 9:34 AM)_

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** ugh my english teacher is so boring

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** he doesnt even teach us english he just rants abt random shit

 **fucking savage:** aren’t you in class right now?

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** yes and my teacher isnt teaching anything

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** everyone goes on their phones in his class

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** he never notices dw

 **fucking savage:** um okay…

 **saltyboo:** would you guys shuT THE FUCK UP PLEASE MY PHONE DOES NOT NEED TO BE BUZZING IN THE MIDDLE OF CLASS

 **shigeru:** awww look he said please

 **shigeru:** smol baby is growing up to be a polite gentlemen

 **saltyboo:** I AM NOT THAT SMALL FUCK YOU

 **our lord and savior:** Shirabu, didn’t you ask Ushijima how to turn off notifications?

 **saltyboo:** he still hasn’t replied so in the meantime please be quiet and don’t text

 **fucking savage:** do you really think twelve people will shut up just because you said so

 **saltyboo:** it’s a game of chance and trust

 **shigeru:** may the odds be never in your favor

 **segurosnake:** hey lets spam and make shirabus phone explode

 **saltyboo:** seguro NO

 **shigeru:** seguro yes

 **segurosnake:** :3

 **segurosnake:** evry1 else mute notifs

 **fucking savage:** okay

 **fucking savage:** i’ll leave too don’t want to get caught on my phone

 **_fucking savage_ ** _is offline_

 **saltyboo:** SEGURO DO NOT DO THIS OR I STG YOU WILL REGRET IT

 **segurosnake:** lmao

 **segurosnake:** lmao

 **segurosnake:** lmao

 **segurosnake:** lmao

 **segurosnake:** lmao

 **segurosnake:** lmao

 **saltyboo:** I WILL MURDER YOU

 **segurosnake:** lmao

 **segurosnake:** lmao

 **segurosnake:** lmao

 **segurosnake:** lmao

 **segurosnake:** lmao

 **segurosnake:** lmao

 **segurosnake:** lmao

 **segurosnake:** lmao

 **segurosnake:** lmao

 **segurosnake:** lmao

 **segurosnake:** lmao

 **segurosnake:** lmao

 **segurosnake:** lmao

 **segurosnake:** lmao

 **segurosnake:** lmao

 **segurosnake:** lmao

 **segurosnake:** lmao

 **segurosnake:** lmao

 **_saltyboo_ ** _is offline_

 **shigeru:** keep going lol

 **segurosnake:** lmao

 **segurosnake:** lmao

 **segurosnake:** lmao

 **segurosnake:** lmao

 **segurosnake:** lmao

 **segurosnake:** lmao

 **segurosnake:** lmao

 **segurosnake:** lmao

 **segurosnake:** k im done

 **i am the tiger:** wtf snakey

 **segurosnake:** :3

 **komaki yuzuru:** do you guys just not listen in class? at all? how do you pass?

 **segurosnake:** i barely do

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** the teachers never catch us on our phones lol

 **starboy:** luckyyy most of my teachers r rlly strict

 **starboy:** rn im in the class of the only teacher who doesnt care

 **segurosnake:** nice :3 :3 :3

 **Sakusa:** seguro no

 **segurosnake:** seguro yes :3

 **segurosnake:** :3

 **segurosnake:** :3

 **segurosnake:** :3

 **segurosnake:** :3

 **segurosnake:** :3

 **segurosnake:** :3

 **segurosnake:** :3

 **segurosnake:** :3

 **segurosnake:** :3

 **segurosnake:** :3

 **segurosnake:** :3

 **segurosnake:** :3

 **segurosnake:** :3

 **segurosnake:** :3

 **Sakusa:**...had it not been for the laws of this land, i would have slaughtered you

 **segurosnake:** :3

 **Sakusa:**...on second thought screw the laws of this land blood will be shed

 **Sakusa:** i find you, seguro, and i will kill you

 **shigeru:** huh sakusa i never really pegged you as a shitposter

 **Sakusa:** i will go to any and all ends to declare my hate for seguro and that emoji

 **segurosnake:** :3

 **Sakusa:** fuck you bye

 **_Sakusa_ ** _is offline_

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** nooo sakusa come back

 **our lord and savior:** I would leave, too, if I were him.

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** D:

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** seguro plz stop provoking him

 **segurosnake** :3 no

 **saltyboo:** IF YOU ALL DON’T GET OFF THIS FUCKING GROUP CHAT RIGHT NOW I AM GOING TO HIRE A HITMAN AND MAKE HIM KILL ALL OF YOU

 **shigeru:** ha

 **saltyboo:** _i mean it_

 **our lord and savior:** Oh no, I beg for mercy. Aaaaaaaah.

 **saltyboo:** DIE

 **shigeru:** ha

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** ok i think yall should get off ur phones now

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** this is getting out of hand

 **our lord and savior:** You realize this now?

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:**...ok fine MAYBE i realized this a lil too late

===[+]===

_(April 12th, 11:03 AM)_

**saltyboo:** I’M

 **saltyboo:** I’M SO DONE

 **i am the tiger:** what happened??

 **saltyboo:** ushijima-san finally replied to my text and he woN’T FUCKING TELL ME HOW TO TURN NOTIFICATIONS OFF

 **shigeru:** ha

 **segurosnake:** lmaoooo

 **saltyboo:** _ > UshiWaka: I think it’ll be good for you to interact with your fellow captains, Shirabu. Perhaps they can advise you on how to lead the team. _

**saltyboo:** “ADVISE”???

 **saltyboo:** THIS FUCKING GROUP CHAT IS HELL

 **saltyboo:** _ACTUALLY_ HELL

 **our lord and savior:** Well, that's certainly one way to put it.

 **saltyboo:** someone please s a v e m e

 **shigeru:**...i’m not even going to make a bts reference from that

 **shigeru:** lmao even your captain won't let you escape

 **saltyboo:** FUCK YOU

===[+]===

_(April 12th, 12:11 PM)_

**starboy:** sooooo

 **starboy:** i decided to listen to the band miya and futakuchi and yahaba were talking about just bc

 **our lord and savior:**...Oh dear.

 **shigeru:**!!!!! YES !!!!!

 **a dead man:** which songs?!

 **starboy:** blood sweat and tears, i need u, and fire bc u guys said theyre ur faves

 **starboy:** theyre rlly good songs!

 **shigeru:** we’ve corrupted him guys!

 **saltyboo:** oh no

 **fucking savage:** ^^

 **a dead man:** listen to other songs

 **starboy:** i am. listening to not today rn

 **miYAS:** nit jst bts tho, aslo listrn ti sonngs by kard, exo, monsta x, got7, 4minute, adn blackpink

 **shigeru:** YES!!

 **miYAS:** i shsll trach yiu evertting i knor hishiuni

 **starboy:** ok! ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

 **komaki yuzuru:** ...what have you done

 **shigeru:** something good for this world

 **saltyboo:** none of you can do anything even remotely good for this world to save your lives

 **shigeru:** wow rude

 **segurosnake:** r00d :3 lmao

 **Sakusa:** what an abomination

 **fucking savage:** if we kick shirabu out will the suffering and turmoil end?

 **komaki yuzuru:** ^^^

 **a dead man:** third stage of grief: bargaining

 **komaki yuzuru:** i’m over halfway there yeET

 **fucking savage:** we’re almost free!

 **segurosnake:** i only swim free :3

 **Sakusa:** oh god no

 **saltyboo:** i’m not even the problem wtf

 **saltyboo:** get seguro and yahaba out of here instead

 **komaki yuzuru:** hey why don’t we all leave

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** NOPE NO ONES LEAVING

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** YALL ARE STAYING HERE

 **Sakusa:** turn on capslock again and no one will ever stay with you because you’ll be dead and buried in a cemetery

 **toadwada:** nice lol

 **i am the tiger:** get rekt teru

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** ;-; so mean

 **saltyboo:** ugh i still don’t get your obsessions with kpop like you don’t understand it???

 **a dead man:** _u_ don’t understand it

 **a dead man:** besides bts has japanese versions of their songs anyway so stupid people like u can comprehend their amazingness

 **saltyboo:** wtf _you’re_ the stupid one

 **shigeru:** <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LYAcYSmaLoc>

**shigeru:** ^^^ link to japanese i need u mv, tho it sounds better in korean

 **miYAS:** it dors

 **saltyboo:** not interested

 **miYAS:** ruide

 **starboy:** yeah it sounds a lot more natural in korean but the japanese version is still good

 **fucking savage:** hoshiumi what have they done to you

 **starboy:** ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

 **miYAS:** awww thst emojhi evrn loojs likr yoi

 **starboy:** ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

 **saltyboo:** we don't even talk about captain stuff on here what the fuck

 **a dead man:** u only wanna talk abt urself? so self-centered u bad child

 **saltyboo:**...my bday’s in fucking may i’m probably fucking older than you fucking fight me

 **shigeru:** but ur short like a child

 **saltyboo:** _FUCKING FIGHT ME_

 **segurosnake:** *whispers* sexual tension

 **saltyboo:** _DIE_

 **fucking savage:** okay but for real do you have a crush that pinch server guy with the dyed hair

 **fucking savage:** because it really seemed like you did when we played against you last year

 **saltyboo:** I DIDN’T EVEN MENTION SEMI WHAT THE F U C K

 **saltyboo:** i can’t believe i ever thought you were sane and decent

 **fucking savage:** your mistake, not mine

 **i am the tiger:** shirabu y u so gullible

 **i am the tiger:** ennoshita is basically the devil

 **a dead man:** but he’s so cute

 **fucking savage:**...what

 **miYAS:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **fucking savage:**...miya no

 **fucking savage:** and futakuchi please stop

 **a dead man:** but it’s trueeeee

 **fucking savage:** um

 **fucking savage:** anyway

 **our lord and savior:** That was not, at all, a smooth transition to another topic, but okay.

 **fucking savage:** shhhhhhh

 **fucking savage:** i have another captain we can add

 **saltyboo:** _...another?_

 **saltyboo:** we have more than enough please end my suffering

 **segurosnake:** the more the merrier

 **saltyboo:** more people to annoy with your spamming, you mean

 **segurosnake:** :3

 **Sakusa:** stop

 **our lord and savior:** Let’s drag more people into real-life hell!

 **starboy:** i can add someone too

 **saltyboo:** nO

 **fucking savage:** terushima?

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** u hv my full approval

 **fucking savage:** kk hoshiumi let’s do it

 **saltyboo:** stop PLEASE

 **_fucking savage_ ** _added_ **_kaNOka_ ** _to this conversation_

 **_starboy_ ** _added_ **_Atema_ ** _to this conversation_

 **_saltyboo_ ** _has left the conversation_

 **_TeruMEMEa Yuuji_ ** _added_ **_saltyboo_ ** _to this conversation_

 **saltyboo:** wHY

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** u need not concern urselves w getting to stage two, bc unfortunately for u, the first warrior u must face is none other than me. and that means that _none of u will make it out of here alive!_

 **toadwada:**...did u just fucking quote dbz

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** *gasp* how did u kno

 **toadwada:** my brother forced me to watch it and i suffered

 **Atema:** excuse you dbz is a blessing

 **kaNOka:** wait what

 **shigeru** : aaaaaand more innocents get dragged into this mess as we speak

 **komaki yuzuru:** type*

 **shigeru:** same thing

 **saltyboo:** oh god let me leave _please_

 **shigeru:** ha

 **kaNOka:** i’m so confused

 **kaNOka:** ennoshita why did you add me into this chat

 **fucking savage:** mkay so who wants to explain

 **starboy:** *points at terushima*

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** ok fine, ill do it

 **a dead man:** wow this is like one of the only times we r going to do intros immediately instead of shitposting for ten mins

 **miYAS:** mt life ig a petprtial shitpodt

 **segurosnake:** ha same

 **Atema:** what the fuck is going on

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** tsk tsk no cursing u bad child

 **toadwada:** a bit too late to say that now but k

 **saltyboo:** let these people go

 **saltyboo:** what have they done to deserve this

 **kaNOka:** ennoshita did you just drag me into a hostage situation

 **fucking savage:** of course not

 **fucking savage:** i dragged you into a war

 **our lord and savior:** A war of torment and anguish, one that has taken so many lives and is rooted so deeply in cruelty and hatred that very few can escape.

 **our lord and savior:** Run while you can. _Run._

 **shigeru:** *whispers* dasi run run run nan meomchul suga eobseo

 **miYAS:** nicr

 **a dead man:** ayyyyy

 **Atema:** ...what the actual fuck

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** ITS NOT LIKE WHAT AKAASHI SAID I SWEAR

 **i am the tiger:** its v much like that

 **our lord and savior:** Heed the warnings. Go to safety. _It’s your only chance of survival._

 **_kaNOka_ ** _has left the conversation_

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** NOPE

 **_TeruMEMEa Yuuji_ ** _added_ **_kaNOka_ ** _to this conversation_

 **a dead man:**...i take back what i said about no shitposting this time

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** K YALL BE QUIET AND LET ME DO MY EXPLAINING

 **komaki yuzuru:** i think akaashi described this place quite well already

 **komaki yuzuru:** _ > our lord and savior: A war of torment and anguish, one that has taken so many lives and is rooted so deeply in cruelty and hatred that very few can escape. _

**our lord and savior:** c:

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** _shhhhhhh_

 **TeruMEMEa YuujI:** SO

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** basically this chat is for us new captains to exchange advice and tips on how to lead our teams

 **fucking savage:** well that's what it’s SUPPOSED to be

 **saltyboo: “** advice and tips” my ass

 **shigeru:** you don’t have an ass what are you talking about

 **saltyboo:**...FUCK YOU

 **kaNOka:** um...okay?

 **a dead man:** in a nutshell, we try to fuction and fail miserably and end up trying to murder each other

 **Sakusa:** function*

 **toadwada:** fuction lmao

 **segurosnake:** fucktion**

 **a dead man:** sure that works too

 **segurosnake:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **Atema:** ew i’m kinkshaming

 **komaki yuzuru:** same

 **Atema:** hoshiumi what kind of friends are you making

 **starboy:** in my defense i was dragged here against my will too

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** rude

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** this chat isnt _that_ bad rite?

 **segurosnake:** tHiS cHAt isNt _tHaT_ bAd riTE?

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** …seguro y

 **i am the tiger:** it si tgat bad

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** …

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** i came out to have good time tonight and i am honestly feeling so attacked rn

 **Sakusa:** that’s your fault for starting this fucking mess

 **our lord and savior:** But nonetheless we are all gathered here, on what can only be described as hell on earth, with no way out. We are stuck here for this rest of our lives.

 **miYAS:** hiw eloqiemt  

 **our lord and savior:** Thanks. c:

 **our lord and savior:** Anyhow, the two newcomers should introduce themselves because they’re stuck with us and they might as well just condemn themselves further.

 **saltyboo:** i feel sorry for them

 **fucking savage:** same

 **kaNOka:** i’m honestly scared that one of you will drag me into a dark alleyway and kill me

 **shigeru:** saltyboo might

 **saltyboo:** call me saltyboo oNE MORE FUCKING TIME AND I’LL STAB YOU

 **shigeru:** ^^ there’s your evidence right there

 **Atema:** i’m getting tsundere vibes from him

 **a dead man:** ik rite???

 **saltyboo:** diE

 **shigeru:** lmao you’ve earned my respect

 **Atema:** do i want it tho that’s the real question

 **shigeru:**...okay nvm fuck you

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** *coughs* _introductions??_

 **starboy:** atema chill plz and go do what terushima asked

 **Atema:**...fine

 **Atema:** i’m atema from tsubakihara. not pleased to meet you all

 **segurosnake:** r00d

 **saltyboo:** _no_

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** kinda lackluster but k

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** and the other new one?

 **kaNOka:** i feel like i’m going to regret this

 **toadwada:** probably

 **kaNOka:** my name is amanai kanoka, the current captain of niiyama joshi

 **fucking savage:** now you’re stuck here forever! how do you feel?

 **kaNOka:**...like a terrible decision-maker

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** so mean ;-;

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** anyway whos gonna do our intros this time

 **fucking savage:** i will

 **i an the tiger:** a brave sacrifice

 **starboy:** how has this chat not combusted yet

 **saltyboo:** please combust i don’t want to be here anymore

 **saltyboo:** leT ME LEAVE GODDAMNIT

 **Sakusa:** in a place like this brain cells die five times as fast

 **komaki yuzuru:** fifty times

 **shigeru:** a hundred times

 **our lord and savior:** But none of you guys had many brain cells to begin with anyway.

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** RUDE

 **segurosnake:** terushima has the least

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** IM IN CLASS SEVEN FUCK U

 **Sakusa:** then act like it and stop using caps

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** what did i do to deserve this

 **toadwada:** u made this chat

 **toadwada:** which is a p horrid crime

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** _...towada_

 **Atema:** this group chat is a trainwreck

 **miYAS:** havr fub sufderign

 **miYAS:** adn wekcime ti helll


	4. rip futakuchi (again)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **fucking savage:** please confess to tanaka by the end of this month i made a bet with kinoshita and three thousand yen are on the line
> 
>  **kaNOka:** ...what the FUCK
> 
>  **shigeru:** who knew ennoshita was this invested in romantic drama lmao
> 
>  **fucking savage:** i’m interested in other people’s love lives to make up for the lack of my own
> 
>  **a dead man:** i can give you a love life ;)
> 
>  **fucking savage:** no thanks
> 
>  **a dead man:** ;(
> 
>  **segurosnake:** ha rejected twice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SO SORRY
> 
> IT'S BEEN TWO MONTHS.
> 
> IM SUCH A LAZY ASS
> 
> I've been working on a bts fic that's currently the longest thing I've ever written aside from this fic. I'm not even halfway done with that. Looking at things optimistically, I'll probably finish in September. It's taking up a lot of time. Also my motivation is slowly dying for it rip.
> 
> This chapter is shorter than usual...I'm sorry but I wanted to get it out sooner. It's kinda rushed and chunky D: but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless.
> 
> ~
> 
>  **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** Terushima Yuuji
> 
>  **fucking savage:** Ennoshita Chikara
> 
>  **saltyboo:** Shirabu Kenjirou
> 
>  **a dead man:** Futakuchi Kenji
> 
>  **shigeru:** Yahaba Shigeru
> 
>  **i am the tiger:** Yamamoto Taketora
> 
>  **our lord and savior:** Akaashi Keiji
> 
>  **segurosnake:** Seguro Akihiko
> 
>  **toadwada:** Towada Yoshiki
> 
>  **komaki yuzuru:** Komaki Yuzuru
> 
>  **Sakusa:** Sakusa Kiyoomi
> 
>  **starboy:** Hoshiumi Kourai
> 
>  **miYAS:** Miya Atsumu
> 
>  **kaNOka:** Amanai Kanoka
> 
>  **Atema:** Atema whatever-his-first-name-is

_ _chat: The New Captains_   
_

_(April 12th, 11:49 PM)_

**komaki yuzuru:** hey

 **fucking savage:** hello

 **komaki yuzuru:** what’s up?

 **saltyboo:** NO

 **saltyboo:** DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE START A FUCKING CONVERSATION

 **saltyboo:** IT’S ALMOST MIDNIGHT

 **saltyboo:** SHUT UP AND LET ME SLEEP

 **komaki yuzuru:**...okay

 **_komaki yuzuru_ ** _is offline_

 **fucking savage:** turn off notifications

 **fucking savage:** it can’t be that hard

 **fucking savage:** google the answer

 **saltyboo:** i DID

 **saltyboo:** i know how to turn them off now

 **saltyboo:**  bUT FUCKING

 **saltyboo:** TAICHI KEEPS ON TURNING THEM BACK ON

 **saltyboo:** HE ALWAYS FIGURES OUT MY PASSWORD

 **saltyboo:** I CAN NEVER HAVE PEACE

 **fucking savage:** i am going to find this taichi and thank him for his deeds

 **fucking savage:** he’s our hero

 **saltyboo:** FUCK YOU AND SHUT UP

 **saltyboo:** LET ME SLEEP I HAVE MORNING PRACTICE

 **saltyboo:** thank god seguro isn’t on

 **segurosnake:** you called? :3

 **saltyboo:** fuck

 **saltyboo:** bye i’m keeping my phone as far away from me as possible without it being anywhere close to taichi

 **_saltyboo_ ** _is offline_

 **segurosnake:** :3

===[+]===

_(April 13th, 2:24 AM)_

**miYAS:** lmao koiamki jsust legft ib the muddle if tahtt convresayion and ni oen caredd

 **kaNOka:** that’s kind of sad…

 **Atema:** i have a feeling he’s used to it

 **a dead man:**...thats mean

 **saltyboo:** YOU KNOW WHAT’S ACTUALLY MEAN

 **saltyboo:** YOU GUYS KEEPING ME UP AT NIGHT

 **saltyboo:** SHUT THE FUCK UP

===[+]===

_(April 13th, 7:12 AM)_

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** GUYS

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** ITS MY BDAY IN FIVE DAYS

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** ILL BE EIGHTEEN AND ABLE TO SAY IM ONE YEAR OLDER THAN EVERYONE

 **Sakusa:** but you still act like a six year old

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** D;

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** i mean ur not wrong

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** but let me hv my glory

 **Atema:** dude you have no glory

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:**...atema u met me yesterday

 **Atema:** i can already tell

 **Atema:** plus while doing introductions ennoshita said you were a shameless shit so

 **i am the tiger:** exposed

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** ENNOSHITA HOW COULD U

 **Sakusa:** he’s not even on right now

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** D;

===[+]===

_(April 13th, 9:27 AM)_

**kaNOka:** happy early bday, terushima-kun

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** thank u!! finally someone shows respect

 **miYAS:** ypu wiull br closre to death nad wgen you die wr can alk lrave thid chat

 **our lord and savior:** He’s not wrong.

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:**...RUDE

 **segurosnake:** r00d

 **saltyboo:** N O

 **saltyboo:** GET THE FUCK OFF YOUR PHONES IT’S THE MIDDLE OF CLASS

 **fucking savage:** but i thought you said you could mute notifications?

 **shigeru:** awwwww is saltyboo worried about how we do in class?

 **saltyboo:** FUCK YOU BYE

 **_saltyboo_ ** _is offline_

 **shigeru:** yay he’s gone

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** ennoshita!! y did u tell atema i was a shit? D;

 **fucking savage:**...am i wrong?

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:**...cri

 **kaNOka:** wow

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** amanai!!! ur ennoshita’s friend tell him to stop dissing me

 **kaNOka:** ennoshita stop dissing him

 **fucking savage:** no

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** D;

 **starboy:** hey im curious

 **starboy:** r any of u guys dating?

 **a dead man:** r u offering? ;)

 **starboy:** not to u

 **a dead man:** ;(

 **Atema:** lmao

 **toadwada:** rip futakuchi

 **our lord and savior:** Let’s face it, we all deserve to be single.

 **fucking savage:** true

 **fucking savage:** but amanai has a boyfriend

 **kaNOka:** i do NOT

 **fucking savage:** you fucking should

 **fucking savage:** you and tanaka like each other, you both KNOW it, so why aren’t you guys together?

 **i am the tiger:** ^^^ ryuu told me abt that! i agree w ennoshita

 **fucking savage:** please confess to tanaka by the end of this month i made a bet with kinoshita and three thousand yen are on the line

 **kaNOka:**...what the FUCK

 **shigeru:** who knew ennoshita was this invested in romantic drama lmao

 **fucking savage:** i’m interested in other people’s love lives to make up for the lack of my own

 **a dead man:** i can give you a love life ;)

 **fucking savage:** no thanks

 **a dead man:** ;(

 **segurosnake:** ha rejected twice

 **a dead man:** y do u guys do this to my pure innocent heart

 **our lord and savior:** _Pure and innocent,_ he says.

 **Atema:** lies

 **starboy:** i ask a simple question and this is what happens

 **shigeru:** dating is not simple. there are crushes. and sexuality crises

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** oh god, _the sexuality crises_

 **Sakusa:** agreed

 **toadwada:** girls r pretty and boys r hot end of story

 **i am the tiger:** but?? its so confusing?? like how do u tell if u like someone as a friend or crush bc idk

 **starboy:** same

 **miYAS:** saem

 **shigeru:** lmao we’re bonding over questioning our sexualities

 **our lord and savior:** Ah, the dilemmas of adolescence.

 **Sakusa:** and adulthood too, probably

===[+]===

_(April 13th, 12:09 PM)_

**saltyboo:** heyyyyy sup its kawanishi taichi

 **fucking savage:** *gasps* my hero

 **saltyboo:** :3

 **Sakusa:**...why do you have shirabu’s phone?

 **saltyboo:** lmao i stole it frm him

 **saltyboo:** and im curremtly hidign in a random clsoet so he wont find me

 **a dead man:** rnt u like 190 cm?! how do u fit in a closet?!

 **saltyboo:** 188 but close enoygh

 **saltyboo:** and us closrted gays find our ways ti hide

 **miYAS:** i relayte

 **saltyboo:** *fingre guns*

 **our lord and savior:** So how’s life like, torturing Shirabu?

 **saltyboo:** its great

 **saltyboo:** i turned hsi notifs on agsin

 **saltyboo:** plsu im considreing setting his phone backgruond to a pic fo semi from gradution jst bc

 **fucking savage:** please do

 **saltyboo:** kk lol

 **segurosnake:** i like this guy

 **Atema:** me too

 **toadwada:** can we add him into this chat

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** but hes not a captain!!

 **saltyboo:** i alresdy hv to deal wtih a vice cap chat so ill pass

 **starboy:** theres a vice cap chat too?!

 **i am the tiger:**...i feel sorry for all of them

 **kaNOka:** honestly, same

 **saltyboo:** there r a lot of memes

 **fucking savage:** ……..of course there are

 **shigeru:** ha i bet kyoutani is suffering

 **saltyboo:** he keeps on trying to leave

 **saltyboo:** hes rlly persistant ill give him taht

 **kaNOka:** what have they done to deserve this

 **segurosnake:** probs nothing lmao

 **Atema:** welcome to a bottomless pit of suffering, enjoy your stay!

 **miYAS:** ^^^

 **saltyboo:** lol acurate

 **saltyboo:** oh shit i thikn i hear kenjirou down tge hall

 **saltyboo:** hes abt to find me

 **saltyboo:** well, time to...come out of the closet ;)

 **toadwada:** wow

 **saltyboo:** im gay as fuck k lmao bye

 **starboy:** same tbh

 **saltyboo:** I’M GOING TO FUCKING MURDER HIM

 **a dead man:** here it comes lmao

 **saltyboo:** HE CHANGED MY PHONE BACKGROUND TOO WHAT THE F U C K

 **fucking savage:** does semi look hot in that photo though

 **saltyboo:** FUCK YOU

 **saltyboo:** ok which one of you fuckers am i going to kill because i need to take my anger out of someone

 **segurosnake:** y not just kill taichi lolol

 **saltyboo:** because he’s a good middle blocker and my team needs him, unfortunately

 **starboy:** unfortuantely…?

 **saltyboo:** YAHABA

 **saltyboo:** COME TO SHIRATORIZAWA SO I CAN PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE

 **shigeru:** can you even reach my face tho that’s the real question

 **saltyboo:** FUCK YOU

 **a dead man:** lmao shirabu is having a terrible day

 **segurosnake:** i can make it worse! :3

 **saltyboo:** NO

 **saltyboo:** DON’T YOU DARE

 **Sakusa:** oh god

 **segurosnake:** :3

 **segurosnake:** :3

 **segurosnake:** :3

 **segurosnake:** :3

 **segurosnake:** :3

 **segurosnake:** :3

 **segurosnake:** :3

 **segurosnake:** :3

 **segurosnake:** :3

 **segurosnake:** :3

 **segurosnake:** :3

 **segurosnake:** :3

 **segurosnake:** :3

 **segurosnake:** :3

 **segurosnake:** :3

 **segurosnake:** :3

 **segurosnake:** :3

 **_saltyboo_ ** _is offline_

 **segurosnake:** :3

 **_Sakusa_ ** _is offline_

 **i am the tiger:** rip

 **our lord and savior:** Did you have to get rid of Sakusa, too?

 **segurosnake:** :3

 **miYAS:** kilign tow birdfs with obe stonr

 **shigeru:** wow such wisdom coming from you

 **miYAS:** ….i wull ingore thdt sadrcsm abd bask ib the glorey of that compljmesbt

 **toadwada:** ignorance is bliss

 **segurosnake:** :3

===[+]===

_(April 13th, 7:56 PM)_

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** hey i just realized

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** komaki hasnt been on since midnight

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** where is he?

 **saltyboo:** no one should be on at fucking midnight

 **saltyboo:** it’s time for sleep

 **saltyboo:** SLEEP

 **saltyboo:** not for having conversations

 **komaki yuzuru:** hey

 **komaki yuzuru:** sorry i’m just tired

 **saltyboo:** because you were fucking awake at midnight

 **komaki yuzuru:** sorry…

 **a dead man:** is that depression i sense? fourth stage of grief?

 **komaki yuzuru:** yes kill me i crave the sweet release of death

 **fucking savage:** it’s okay we’re all tired of this chat

 **komaki yuzuru:** :)

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** RUDE

 **our lord and savior:** When are you going to stop pretending you actually care about this chat?

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** but i DO

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** i just wanna be captains w u guys D:

 **shigeru:** but lbr did we ever even talk about something volleyball-related on here?

 **Sakusa:** i don’t think so

 **starboy:** geumanhae i don’t recall

 **a dead man:** YES

 **miYAS:** *braeks dowb wall* I HEAFD A KARD REFREBCE

 **starboy:** kard is amazing ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

 **miYAS:** thyr obe of my favrs

 **shigeru:** i love them so much omg

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** NOPE

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** we r not going offtrack again

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** lets talk abt volleyball for once

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** how was practice?

 **i am the tiger:** who r u my mom

 **Atema:** practice was good, mother

 **Atema:** just kidding it was shit and i miss the third-years

 **saltyboo:** former* third-years

 **Atema:** don't remind me

 **kaNOka:** i miss them too

 **kaNOka:** and miya i can practically envision you typing out that spring day reference don’t you dare

 **segurosnake:** exposed

 **miYAS:** ypu knbow bts too??

 **kaNOka:** yeah

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** private chat, guys. discuss it there plz

 **miYAS:**...fien

 **fucking savage:** i miss daichi-san

 **fucking savage:** i feel like i’m a shit captain compared to him y’know?

 **miYAS:** smae

 **miYAS:** kita-san was realy smaet and stratrgeitc nad disclipliend nd idk hiw to be plike him

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** i used to feel that too

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** but then u kinda get used to it? the whole captaincy thing? and it starts feeling more natural

 **toadwada:** dont try to be exactly like ur captain btw. u need to be a good leader but there r many kinds of good leaders

 **komaki yuzuru:** ^^^^ one of the most important things!

 **a dead man:** it sucks at first, but remember that if u try ur hardest u can make ur team and the third-years proud

 **segurosnake:** damn

 **starboy:** wow so inspirational ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

 **saltyboo:** i must say i’m impressed you guys have the intelligence to muster a half-speech that's actually motivational

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** is that a compliment or an insult

 **saltyboo:** …

 **i am the tiger:** that was actually really touching omg

 **i am the tiger:** im lowkey tearing up

 **Sakusa:** maybe you guys are okay captains after all

 **toadwada:** gee thanks

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** THANK YOU SAKUSA :D :D :D

 **Sakusa:** you guys except terushima***

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** D: D: D:

 **our lord and savior:** It was a touching moment until you did that, Sakusa.

 **Sakusa:** do you blame me

 **segurosnake:** no

 **miYAS:** no

 **fucking savage:** no

 **our lord and savior:** no

 **toadwada:** no

 **saltyboo:** i could never blame you, sakusa, you’re so sane

 **Sakusa:** thank you

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** D:

 **kaNOka:** you guys are so mean to terushima

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** see? amanai sees the injustice!

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** im being attacked and no one wants to be my friend D:

 **kaNOka:** i’ll be your friend

 **segurosnake:** well thats a first

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** SEGURO

 **segurosnake:** :3

 **Sakusa:** oh god

 **kaNOka:** it’s almost terushima’s bday be nice

 **fucking savage:** if i’m nice will you ask tanaka out

 **kaNOka:** ………………..maybe

 **kaNOka:** for terushima-san’s sake

 **fucking savage:** good enough for me i’ll be nice

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** YAY THANK YOU AMANAI

 **Atema:**...ennoshita’s really manipulative

 **i am the tiger:** ofc he is

 **a dead man:** its hot

 **fucking savage:** what

 **our lord and savior:** You think everything about Ennoshita is hot.

 **a dead man:** guilty

 **fucking savage:** w h a t

 **saltyboo:** ew

 **miYAS:** #exposed

 **toadwada:** wow u spelled sth right for once

 **miYAS:** ikr waht an acompiishnmet

 **starboy:** im proud of u miya-kun ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

 **miYAS:** tahnks hoshiumi

 **starboy:** ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

 **miYAS:** tahts so cute

 **starboy:** im always cute

 **miYAS:** yse you aer

 **saltyboo:** _ew_ pda

 **starboy:** ?

 **shigeru:** but shirabu you probably wish you were the same with semi lmao

 **saltyboo:** B Y E

 **_saltyboo_ ** _is offline_

 **our lord and savior:**...And he’s gone again.

 **Atema:** lmao

 **shigeru:** i feel accomplished

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, no one asked, but in case you want to know: For BTS, my bias is hoseok; namjoon and yoongi are my bias wreckers; and come back home, rain, and look here are my favorite songs ^_^ (edit: young forever and a supplementary story: you never walk alone too!! they're such good songs im screaming) (also bc i love hobi's vocals he's amazing)


	5. appreciate kim seokjin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **yui:** idk who you guys are
> 
>  **yui:** idk how you got my skype
> 
>  **yui:** but youre talking about kpop so SIGN ME TF UP

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *shows up one month later* lol hi
> 
> This chapter is entirely kpop. Entirely. A completely different chat, too. I didn't have inspiration so I made a chapter about my current obsession.
> 
> To the readers that are kpop fans (especially armys), I think you'll like this chapter. To the readers that aren't, well...I hope this chapter convinces you to listen to some songs.
> 
> I'm currently on vacation, so this chapter is being published on mobile. I put in all the links by hand, it was a pain. Once I get back I'll bold everything and shit like that. (Edit: i bolded everything now lmao)
> 
> Sorry for the long a/n. Enjoy the chapter.
> 
> ~
> 
>  **a dead man:** Futakuchi Kenji
> 
>  **shigeru:** Yahaba Shigeru
> 
>  **miYAS:** Miya Atsumu
> 
>  **starboy:** Hoshiumi Kourai
> 
>  **kawaniSHIT:** Kawanishi Taichi
> 
>  **sugarwara:** Sugawara Koushi
> 
>  **yui:** Michimiya Yui
> 
>  **kaNOka:** Amanai Kanoka
> 
>  **don't mai-nd:** Nametsu Mai

_(April 15th, 1:54 PM)_

_**a dead man** added **shigeru** , **sugarwara** , **yui** ,  **miYAS** , **starboy** , **don’t mai-nd** , **kawaniSHIT** , and **kaNOka** to this conversation_

_**a dead man** has renamed this conversation to “kpop”_

**a dead man:** can i just

 **a dead man:** scream about v

 **a dead man:** hes so hot im D E A D

 **a dead man:** LOOK AT HIM

_**a dead man** sent a [photo](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/1a/e7/ab/1ae7abc32e9be6c0ac24f2690b52ff27--taehyung-sexy-kim-taehyung-cute.jpg)_

**shigeru:** AHHHHHHHHHHH

 **sugarwara:** YAS KPOP

 **sugarwara:** MY NAMESAKE AND ULTIMATE BIAS, SUGA

_**sugarwara** sent a [photo](https://0.soompi.io/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/18200327/BTS-Suga-1.jpg)_

**sugarwara:** [A](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=3Y_Eiyg4bfk) TO THE G TO THE U TO THE STD

 **a dead man:** IM D BOY BC IM FROM D

 **shigeru:** NAN MICHINNOM BITEU WIYE LUNATIC

 **miYAS:** RAEBEURO HONGKONGEUL BONAENEUN MY TONGUE TEXHNOLOGY

 **shigeru:** and jungkook!!!!!

_**shigeru** sent a [photo](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/05/ed/e9/05ede9da07108cc953c0adb3cfd9354d--peaches-jeon-jeongguk.jpg)_

**shigeru:** he’s barely older than us and he’s going so far in life

 **a dead man:** IKR

 **shigeru:** his voice is so pretty AHHHHHHH

 **kawaniSHIT:** but guys we cant jsut forgrt jin

_**kawaniSHIT** sent a [photo](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/43/35/0e/43350ee48ff4fb42dfcf732324301c7c--hot-vampires-google-search.jpg)_

**kawaniSHIT:** worldwidr handsome righh there

 **kawaniSHIT:** desrves way mre appreciation than he gets

 **don't mai-nd:** ^^^^

_**don't mai-nd** sent a [photo](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/2b/56/c1/2b56c1d3597225f927c38d1fbbcae0ed--seokjin-bts-kim-seokjin-hot.jpg)_

**don't mai-nd:** look at this visual!!!

 **don't mai-nd:** and his voice is gorgeous too!!! yall need to recognize him as a vocalist too

 **kaNOka:** ^^^^^^^^

 **miYAS:** amf wr have goldrn hyung jhope

_**miYAS** sent a [photo](https://0.soompi.io/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/25081311/j-hope-bts.png)_

**miYAS:** [boy meets evil](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=iJJSh-eEdRk) killed me

 **miYAS:** stan talebt stn jungg hoseok

 **starboy:** i think jin is my bias

 **starboy:** but theyre all amazing

 **starboy:** y does jin always hv so little lines tho his voice is so nice

 **shigeru:** ^^^ I’VE BEEN AN ARMY FOR YEARS AND I STILL DON’T UNDERSTAND

 **shigeru:** HE’S SO TALENTED WTF

 **sugarwara:** I KNOW

 **sugarwara:** [AWAKE](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zvBNoSjlKG0) IS A MASTERPIECE

 **sugarwara:** THE LYRICS MADE ME CRY

 **shigeru:** SAME

 **yui:** idk who you guys are

 **yui:** idk how you got my skype

 **yui:** but youre talking about kpop so SIGN ME TF UP

 **yui:** awake is the best wings solo song sorry i dont make the rules

 **yui:** his HIGH NOTES THO

 **don't mai-nd:** ahsjdkfbebdje FUCKING KILLED ME

 **a dead man:** the lyrics fucked me up its rlly sad ಥ_ಥ

 **kawaniSHIT:** guys wahts ur fave mvs?

 **sugarwara:** [DOPE](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=BVwAVbKYYeM)

 **sugarwara:** JIMIN WITH RED HAIR AND GLASSES AGDJFNDJSJ

 **sugarwara:** ICONIC

 **miYAS:** [i neeed u](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jjskoRh8GTE)

 **miYAS:** the theoriues neve rstopp

 **miYAS:** si jin deasd

 **miYAS:** aer thry all dead

 **miYAS:** woh thr fuvk kniws

 **kawaniSHIT:** lmao ive been tryig to figure this ot for like a yr

 **kawaniSHIT:** im stoll so confuysed

 **yui:** [spring day](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xEeFrLSkMm8)

 **yui:** its so aesthetic

 **yui:** jungkook is so pretty i CANT

 **don't mai-nd:** HE IS AHHHHH

 **a dead man:** [war of hormone](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XQmpVHUi-0A)

 **a dead man:** taehyung was so RUDE

 **a dead man:** WHO SAID U COULD LOOK SO HOT

 **a dead man:** HE COULD PUNCH ME AND ID THANK HIM

 **shigeru:** FUCKING SAME

 **shigeru:** [bst](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=hmE9f-TEutc) is my fave

 **shigeru:** THEY ALL LOOK SO PRETTY

 **shigeru:** ESPECIALLY JIN

 **shigeru:** I LOVED THE CONCEPT IT WAS BEAUTIFUL

 **don't mai-nd:** ITS MY FAVE TOO

 **don't mai-nd:** THE SCENE WHEN JIN KISSED THE STATUE

 **don't mai-nd:** EVERYONE WANTS TO BE THE STATUE

 **kaNOka:** i really like [young forever](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=HBj4y9Zibao)

 **kaNOka:** the mv was really well made

 **kaNOka:** and it tied in with run and inu

 **kaNOka:** the symbolism and meaning are really deep

 **kawaniSHIT:** niceeee

 **kawaniSHIT:** my fave si [fire](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4ujQOR2DMFM)

 **kawaniSHIT:** its LIT lmao

 **kawaniSHIT:** jin got a lot of lines too

 **starboy:** i liked [not today](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9DwzBICPhdM)!

 **starboy:** the dance is cool

 **starboy:** im gonna go listen to the songs u mentioned, and watch the mvs

 **miYAS:** listeb to [let me knwo](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Rx7OIHCR3Cw) too

 **shigeru:** YES

 **don't mai-nd:** I LOVE THAT SONG

 **kaNOka:** the rappers sound so nice and soulful

 **a dead man:** AND TAEHYUNG

 **kawaniSHIT:** AND JIMINS HIGH NOTE AT THE END

 **kawaniSHIT:** HOW DOES HE GO THAT HIGH WTF

 **kaNOka:** also, rapmon’s mixtape is so underrated

 **kaNOka:** [do you](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0XAxf8aFtL4) and [voice](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Te5KZjtdqdw) are amazing

 **a dead man:** IK

 **a dead man:** [LIFE](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sLg_x43hVR0) IS MY FAVE

 **don't mai-nd:** HES SO BRILLIANT BUT ARMY DOESNT APPRECIATE HIM ENOUGH

 **starboy:** i loved his mixtape, i listened to the whole thing yesterday!!

 **shigeru:** ^ he’s a new army btw

 **miYAS:** i coruoted him  >:)

 **sugarwara:** NICE

 **kaNOka:** there are a lot of underrated bts songs

 **kaNOka:** [dead leaves](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-DdQUszwoc), [rain](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=oWIOJa-T29Q), [a supplementary story](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=BdPAIrzyQBI), [am i wrong](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-lasqWd7LcI), [look here](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=kVPvQaPagJA)

 **a dead man:** RAIN

 **a dead man:** JHOPES SINGING PART AHHHH

 **kaNOka:** it was soooooooo good his vocals are beautiful

 **sugarwara** : SPRING DAY [HIDDEN VOCALS](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=hg2myiQMU1U)

 **miYAS:** JHOPE SANNG FRO LIKR HAKF HTE SONG

 **miYAS:** HE GOR MOR ELINES THSN JUNGKOOK

 **miYAS:** HIS SINGFING IS TEH BRST BDNDKWORBFJDJ I LPVE HIS VIUCE

 **kaNOka:** [born singer](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RUbyIJcjjmY) is one of my faves

 **kaNOka:** the lyrics are really meaningful

 **sugarwara:** I CRIED LISTENING TO THAT SONG I LOVE IT

 **don't mai-nd:** but yall

 **don't mai-nd:** bts is my fave too but

_**don't mai-nd** sent a [photo](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/hTMlLDAclTI/maxresdefault.jpg)_

**don't mai-nd:** dont forget my queens mamamoo

 **a dead man:** AHHHHHHHHH

 **a dead man:** HWASA LOOKS SO GOOD I LOVE HER

 **shigeru:** AND SOLAR

 **kawaniSHIT:** AND WHEEIN

 **sugarwara:** AND MOONBYUL

 **yui:** the [yes i am](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Ue9NG1hAr78) mv is THE BEST

 **yui:** so aesthetic

 **don't mai-nd:** tbh moonbyul reminds me of one of my friends

 **don't mai-nd:** big innocent eyes

 **don't mai-nd:** so precious

 **don't mai-nd:** i love her so much

 **miYAS:** hohsiuni chrck outt other bnands beinsedes bts

 **starboy:** ok!

 **starboy:** wow mamamoo is really pretty

 **a dead man:** IKR

 **sugarwara:** also, kard!!!

 **miYAS:** KARD SI AMZAING

 **miYAS:** I LOVE JSEPH

 **yui:** jiwoo is my wife!!!

 **don't mai-nd:** shes gorgeous

 **don't mai-nd:** [hola hola](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=USx4WyrkfU4) is so PRETTY

 **kaNOka:** the mv is so carefree i love it!!

 **kawaniSHIT:** I LOVE THEIR CONCEPT

 **kawaniSHIT:** KING ACE COLORJOKER BLCAKJOKER

 **a dead man:** SAME ITS SO COOL

 **sugarwara:** ALSO [DONT RECALL HIDDEN VER](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=QWWLZOQKo78)

 **shigeru:** THEY SANG THE ENTIRE THING IN ENGLISH THEY’RE SO DEDICATED I LOVE THEM

 **starboy:** nice!!

 **starboy:** what other bands should i listen to?

 **a dead man:** exo!!

 **a dead man:** lay is my bias hes so cute

 **sugarwara:** im so salty they left him out of the war comeback

 **sugarwara:** ot9 forever

 **sugarwara:** but still [KOKOBOP](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=IdssuxDdqKk) IS SO GOOD

 **yui:** its like one big drug trip but i love it

 **yui:** xiumin is such a visual AHHHHHHHH

 **kawaniSHIT:** THERI POWERS ARE BACK

 **kawaniSHIT:** ITS SUCH S FUCKING AMAZING CONCEPT I MISSED TEH POWRS

 **shigeru:** ^^^^

 **shigeru:** [lotto](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=fraGLIZAqa8) is a really good song too!

 **don't mai-nd:** EOJJEONA I JUST HIT THE LOTTO LA LA LA LA

 **miYAS:** exo is likew the obly kpopcband osamu lisrnens to lmao

 **sugarwara:** blackpink is my fave girl group

 **shigeru:** YES

 **shigeru:** BLACKPINK IN YOUR AREA

 **yui:** [boombayah](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PjRxsQ3mQkM) is great

 **yui:** i once knew a guy who loved jennie so much that he insisted everyone call him jennie lmao

 **yui:** i mean jennie is my bias too so i dont blame him

 **don't mai-nd:** im in love with lisa

 **don't mai-nd:** her rapping is awesome

 **kawaniSHIT:** shes ym bias lol

 **kawaniSHIT:** she soundd so hot in [as if its ur last](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=OYiH3t5tZgo)

 **sugarwara:** i rlly like got7 too!

 **a dead man:** YAS

 **a dead man:** [NEVER EVER](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=3J4UQEJ2OwY) IS MY JAM

 **kawaniSHIT:** i loev bambam hes sych a meme lmao

 **kaNOka:** i love their group dynamic

 **kaNOka:** jackson was hilarious on weekly idol

 **shigeru:** REMEMBER THE [RANDOM PLAY DANCE CHALLENGE](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sHmIQ1IoEnk)

 **shigeru:** WITH THE EMBARRASSING PUNISHMENTS

 **sugarwara:** JACKSON LITERALLY RAN OFF THE STAGE LMAO I LOVE HIM

 **starboy:** ok! ill go listen to those bands

 **starboy:** any specific songs to recommend?

 **miYAS:** LSTEN TO ALK FO THREM

 **don't mai-nd:** ^^

 **kaNOka:** listen to the most recent song of each, first

 **kaNOka:** just to get a sense of their style

 **starboy:** ok, thx!

 **kawaniSHIT:** this is scuh a great chat

 **kawaniSHIT:** best bday present ever lmao

 **yui:** its your bday today??

 **kawaniSHIT:** yep lol

 **a dead man:** <https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=DvDPinu7pVY>

**kawaniSHIT:** shit i love that song

 **sugarwara:** SAME

 **a dead man:** the dance should be awkward but somehow they make it look so good

 **don't mai-nd:** ikr!

 **shigeru:** guys what's the first kpop song you listened to?

 **shigeru:** mine was bigbang’s [loser](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WhnnPJIKCLw)

 **shigeru:** still one of my faves

 **a dead man:** exo [overdose](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=x0YXtPE985Y), tho it was the chinese ver first cuz i clicked on it by accident

 **sugarwara:** lol

 **sugarwara:** snsd [run devil run](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Ceoi3LD3QYY). way before i started actively listening to kpop

 **starboy:** bts i need u, miya yahaba and futakuchi were talking abt in it the next gen caps chat

 **kaNOka:** seventeen [dont wanna cry](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=U4psy78HO-A), their voices are really nice

 **miYAS:** bts [no mrow dreaam](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=rBG5L7UsUxA). the mv si so haredcorr

 **don't mai-nd:** twice [cheer up](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9otizjo7ZfM), its really cute i love it

 **yui:** 4minute [hate](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=39ZYiTuMQKE)

 **yui:** im so sad they disbanded :’(

 **kawaniSHIT:** they werr such a good groiup

 **kawaniSHIT:** bigbang, [bang bang banng](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=UwbGi2nGFQg) si my fave

 **shigeru:** nice lmao

 **sugarwara:** this chat is actually rlly fun

 **sugarwara:** unlike the setter chat im still in despite not being a high school vball player anymore

 **sugarwara:** i have to deal with kageyama being dense af, oikawa somehow being scary and stupid at the same time, echigo being an arrogant ass, shirabu pining after semi...too much

 **shigeru:** lol i feel your pain

 **sugarwara:** the setter chat keeps me awake at night help

 **sugarwara:** dont wanna cry more like wanna cry bc i need sleep but I AM NOT GRANTED IT

 **kaNOka:** 울고싶다

 **miYAS:** ^

 **shigeru:** ^

 **yui:** ^

 **don't mai-nd:** ^

 **kawaniSHIT:** ^

 **a dead man:** ^

 **starboy:** ^

 **sugarwara:** ^ i guess well bear the pain together

 **sugarwara:** with kpop

 **a dead man:** bc kpop solves evrything

 **sugarwara:** ^ exactly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol pretend this fic takes place in 2018 even though it follows the 2017 calendar. Half of the songs i mentioned weren't even out in april 2017


	6. tea is served

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **a dead man:** LMAO SHIRABU GO GET URSELF THAT BF
> 
>  **saltyboo:** FUCK NO
> 
>  **saltyboo:** IM LEAVING BYE
> 
> _**saltyboo:** is offline_
> 
> **segurosnake:** lmao
> 
>  **segurosnake:** @.setters keep serving that tea
> 
>  **shigeru:** of course

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi its been two months hAH im great at being productive
> 
> in this chapter...semishira begins its rise :D i probably wont make it angsty dw lol
> 
> ~
> 
>  **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** Terushima Yuuji
> 
>  **fucking savage:** Ennoshita Chikara
> 
>  **saltyboo:** Shirabu Kenjirou
> 
>  **a dead man:** Futakuchi Kenji
> 
>  **shigeru:** Yahaba Shigeru
> 
>  **i am the tiger:** Yamamoto Taketora
> 
>  **our lord and savior:** Akaashi Keiji
> 
>  **segurosnake:** Seguro Akihiko
> 
>  **toadwada:** Towada Yoshiki
> 
>  **komaki yuzuru:** Komaki Yuzuru
> 
>  **Sakusa:** Sakusa Kiyoomi
> 
>  **starboy:** Hoshiumi Kourai
> 
>  **miYAS:** Miya Atsumu
> 
>  **kaNOka:** Amanai Kanoka
> 
>  **Atema:** Atema whatever-his-first-name-is

_chat: The New Captains_

_(April 15th, 11:39 PM)_

**starboy:** i just listened to converse high and W H A T

 **starboy:** im so confused

 **shigeru:** wrong chat but lmao same

 **shigeru:** i guess they all really have a thing for converse

 **shigeru:** except suga

 **i am the tiger:**...wtf r u guys talking about

 **toadwada:** do we even want to know

===[+]===

_(April 16th, 5:08 AM)_

**i am the tiger:** hello rise and shine my friends!!!

 **Atema:** …”friends”, he says

 **saltyboo:** tf you mean “rise and shine”

 **saltyboo:** its sunday

 **saltyboo:** let me sleep in

 **shigeru:** lol you? never

 **saltyboo:** literally die

 **shigeru:** nah i’ll just figuratively die

 **komaki yuzuru:** we’re all dead inside

 **fucking savage:** ^

 **saltyboo:** i hate you

 **shigeru:** ha

 **segurosnake:** r00d

 **saltyboo:** seguro fuck you

 **miYAS:** if yuo werr taklinf w semi youd sayt “fuvk mr” :P

 **saltyboo:** FUCKING DIE

 **our lord and savior:** _...Miya_

 **a dead man:** LMAO THAT WAS UNCALLED FOR

 **saltyboo:** OH MY GOD I HATE YOU ALL SO MUCH

 **shigeru:** hate you too saltyboo

 **saltyboo:** fuck off

 **saltyboo:** someone change my nickname or i’m going to murder everyone

 **shigeru:** okay ;)

 **saltyboo:** NO NOT YOU

 **_saltyboo_ ** _’s nickname is now_ **_semi’s bf_ **

**shigeru:** too late bitch

 **semi’s bf:** what the FUCK

 **semi’s bf:** im so fucking glad i threatened taichi before he could see this but now i want to kill you all

 **fucking savage:** *gasp* what did you do to our hero, you villain?!

 **semi’s bf:** i told him that if he went on my phone again i’d tell yamagata-san about his hopeless crush on him

 **segurosnake:** damn

 **semi’s bf:** taichi’s such a wimp he’s been having these gay feelings for like two years

 **semi’s bf:** he actually told me that he liked him a couple days ago, and FINALLY HE’S ADMITTING IT DO YOU KNOW HOW FUCKING LONG I’VE BEEN TELLING HIM WHAT THE FUCK

 **komaki yuzuru:** if i didn’t know better i would’ve thought you were trying to be nice and helpful by getting them together but that’s not your style

 **semi’s bf:** fuck off

 **shigeru:** taichi’s admitting his feelings for yamagata now are you going to admit your feelings for semi

 **semi’s bf:** no because they’re fucking nonexistent

 **toadwada:** denial isnt just a river in egypt

 **semi’s bf:** go away

 **Sakusa:** … “go away”

 **our lord and savior:** Did you run out of comebacks or something?

 **semi’s bf:** asdfghjkl;’

 **semi’s bf:** i hate you all I’M SO FRUSTRATED

 **miYAS:** nto as fruysrated as semi mkaes yuo mmmmmmmh

 **fucking savage:**...miya what the fuck

 **_semi’s bf_ ** _is offline_

 **shigeru:** well he didn’t deny it

 **a dead man:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **starboy:**...i dont rlly get it but k

 **toadwada:** rlly? lmao

 **shigeru:** so pure

 **starboy:** im not pure!! ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

 **starboy:** i can curse fuck u

 **a dead man:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **fucking savage:** futakuchi don’t corrupt him

 **starboy:** ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

 **miYAS:** si cute

 **miYAS:** so inocemt

 **segurosnake:** sure

 **shigeru:** lol

 **shigeru:** anyway how r we gonna make shirabu admit his love for his senpai

 **semi’s bf:** NO FUCK OFF

 **shigeru:** there he is lmao

 **fucking savage:** shirabu did you keep semi as your wallpaper?

 **semi’s bf:** OF COURSE NOT WTF

 **semi’s bf:** ok i’m contemplating murder someone change my nickname to a normal name before i slit all of your throats

 **_semi’s bf_ ** _’s nickname is now_ **_shiratori’s setter_ **

**a dead man:** wow so boring

 **shiratori’s setter:** _thank_ you

 **kaNOka:** np

 **shigeru:** amanai you shouldn’t be nice to him he’ll stab you in the back

 **shiratori’s setter:** only if you stab me in the back first

 **kaNOka:** ……………….noted

 **_shiratori’s setter_ ** _’s nickname is now_ **_saltyboo_ **

**saltyboo:** WHAT THE FUCK

 **shigeru:** ;)

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** HEY GUYS ITS MY BDAY IN TWO DAYS

 **fucking savage:** idc

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** D:

 **segurosnake:** lmao

 **komaki yuzuru:** okay but same

 **fucking savage:** rip

 **a dead man:** ur doing amazing sweetie <3

 **fucking savage:** that doesn’t even make sense but k

 **starboy:** cute

 **kaNOka:** cute

 **fucking savage:**...amanai why

 **kaNOka:** payback

 **kaNOka:** :)

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** omg amanai i luv u

 **fucking savage:** well you're out of luck she has a bf

 **kaNOka:** I DO NOT

 **kaNOka:**...yet ;)

 **starboy:** omg

 **kaNOka:** AFSGHDKJFDKL THAT WASNT ME

 **kaNOka:** MY FRIEND STIOKLE MY PHONE AND TYPE DNTHAT IT WASNT ME I SWEARH

 **Atema:** its 5 am why would you be with your friends rn

 **segurosnake:** #exposed

 **kaNOka:** SLEEPOVER SDFGSGFSGK

 **fucking savage:** sure whatever you say

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** but GUYS its almost my bday!!

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** im probably the oldest in this chat!!

 **our lord and savior:** Who’s the youngest?

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:**...good question

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** WHOS THE BABY

 **miYAS:** ew wy do u havr to say it liuk that

 **a dead man:** my bday is nov 10

 **fucking savage:** dec 26

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** lmao yall babies

 **our lord and savior:**...Terushima.

 **i am the tiger:** mine is feb 22!

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** omg so young

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** anyone else????

 **shigeru:**...march 1st

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** BABY

 **shigeru:** gross get your pet names out of here

 **komaki yuzuru:**...we’re all the same age terushima chill

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** n o

 **Sakusa:** you’re not even 18 yet your birthday is in two days

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** AND U SAY U DONT CARE

 **Sakusa:** why would i

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** ;-;

===[+]===

_(April 16th, 8:23 AM)_

**saltyboo:** it’s only been a week but why does it feel like i’ve been stuck in this stupid chat for more than six months wtf

 **a dead man:** thats bc time crawls by when a certain author doesnt update her fic

 **komaki yuzuru:** what

 **a dead man:** when a certain idiot doesnt let you out of this hell** haha autocorrect

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** HEY

 **a dead man:** except u ennoshita u make my life heaven <3

 **i am the tiger:**  lol whipped

 **fucking savage:** no thanks

 **segurosnake:** lol rejected

===[+]===

_(April 16th, 10:08 AM)_

**shigeru:** GUYS

 **saltyboo:** NO

 **shigeru:** GUESS WHAT JUST HAPPENED IN THE SETTER CHAT

 **saltyboo:** YAHABA I FUCKING SWEAR TO GOD

 **starboy:** what??? what happened?????

 **segurosnake:** mmmmh give us that tea

 **saltyboo:** NO

 **our lord and savior:** Basically our grumpy Shirabu flirted with Semi.

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** WHAT

 **a dead man:** W H A T

 **saltyboo:** ADHGAKJHA THATS NOT WHAT HAPPENED YOU FUCKERS

 **_miYAS_ ** _sent a photo_

 **Atema:** i–

 **Atema:** wow

 **saltyboo:** MIYA I HATE YOU SO MUCH

 **i am the tiger:** DAMN shirabu u smooth fucker

 **saltyboo:** ASJGHALJGHAJ SEMI-SAN JUST WENT OFFLINE

 **shigeru:** LMAOOOOOOOO

 **komaki yuzuru:** trouble in paradise?

 **saltyboo:** I DIDNT MEAN TO SAY IT I SWEAR

 **Sakusa:** sure you didn’t

 **a dead man:** LMAO EVEN SAKUSA

 **saltyboo:** IM GONNA D I E TAICHI’S NEVER GONNA LET ME HEAR THE END OF IT WHEN HE FINDS OUT

 **fucking savage:** truly my hero

 **miYAS:** LMAOO SHIURABU ISNT EVENB DEBYING IT ANTMORE

 **saltyboo:** AGDKDBDJS SHUT UP

 **saltyboo:** I FUCKED UP OK

 **our lord and savior:** Semi came back online.

 **a dead man:** LMAO SHIRABU GO GET URSELF THAT BF

 **saltyboo:** FUCK NO

 **saltyboo:** IM LEAVING BYE

 **_saltyboo_ ** _is offline_

 **segurosnake:** lmao

 **segurosnake:** @.setters keep serving that tea

 **shigeru:** of course

===[+]===

_chat: stupid setters_

_(April 16th, 10:16 AM)_

**semicircle:** i

 **semicircle:** whatthefuck

 **sugarwara:** lol r u swooning yet

 **semicircle:** no fuck off

 **komaki yuzuru:** lmao shirabu says that all the time

 **semicircle:** did he go offline?

 **oink-awa:** yep! he probably got flustered

 **miYAS:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **saltyboo:** miya if you value your life i suggest you get the fuck out of japan and hide or i’ll murder you in your sleep

 **echigo:** there he is!

 **semicircle:**...kenjirou?

 **saltyboo:** asfahkgjhakj bye

 **_saltyboo_ ** _is offline_

 **miniwa:** omg

 **futamata:** semi uses shirabus first name. its super effective!

 **semicircle:** please die

 **our lord and savior:** Shirabu probably died.

 **tobi or not tobi:** yea

 **kozken:** good riddance tbh

===[+]===

_chat: The New Captains_

_(April 16th, 10:25 AM)_

**_shigeru_ ** _sent a photo_

 **_shigeru_ ** _sent a photo_

 **_shigeru_ ** _sent a photo_

 **a dead man:** LMAOOO

 **starboy:** is shirabu actually dead rn omg

 **Atema:** probably

 **our lord and savior:** I agree with Kenma.

 **saltyboo:** i hate every single one of you in this chat

 **fucking savage:** well then you don’t hate amanai bc she’s not single

 **kaNOka:** JFHAJKGHAKJFGAHKGJHAKJHK ENNOSHITA

 **saltyboo:** she’s a nice person i guess

 **shigeru:** wow

 **shigeru:** am i seeing this with my own two eyes?

 **shigeru:** shirabu complimenting someone?

 **shigeru:** is this a dream?

 **saltyboo:** wtf

 **saltyboo:** oh shit taichi’s texting me

 **saltyboo:** AJKSGHAKJGHAKJGHAKJ WHICH ONE OF YOU FUCKERS TOLD HIM ABOUT THIS

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** LMAOOOOOOOO

 **toadwada:** lol he knows?

 **fucking savage:** wasn’t me, that’s for sure

 **fucking savage:** who’s taichi?

 **saltyboo:**...i hate you so much

 **saltyboo:** he’s gonna bring this up constantly fuCK

 **_saltyboo_ ** _is offline_

 **a dead man:** LMAO

 **a dead man:** ennoshita ily

 **fucking savage:** k but no

 **a dead man:** D:

 **miYAS:** touigh loev lol

 **kaNOka:** do semi-san and shirabu actually like each other though?

 **kaNOka:** do you have...conformation?

 **shigeru:** well shirabu definitely likes semi

 **shigeru:** that’s pretty clear, but he still denies it lmao why you always lying

 **shigeru:** and apparently semi told yamagata that he had a crush on shirabu. then yamagata told the liberos, and watari told me

 **toadwada:** lol yamagata exposing semi to the liberos

 **fucking savage:** ...yahaba maybe you shouldn’t have said that when shirabu is obviously still reading our messages

 **saltyboo:** AJHAKJFHAJKFHAFKJAHFKAHJ

 **shigeru:** lmao it’s ok ennoshita that was my plan all along

 **saltyboo:** YAHABA IM GOING TO MURDER YOU

 **shigeru:** don’t shoot the messenger

 **shigeru:** but for amanai, give us some conformation! do you have a crush on semi?

 **saltyboo:** NO WTF

 **Atema:** …

 **starboy:** …

 **a dead man:** ...

 **our lord and savior:** …

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** sure jan

 **saltyboo:** ok FINE i kinda like him

 **shigeru:** FUCKING FINALLY

 **fucking savage:** all it took was one dead meme wow

 **_TeruMEMEa Yuuji_ ** _has renamed this conversation to “operation get shirabu a bf”_

 **saltyboo:**...what the FUCK

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** u finally said u liked him so

 **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** naturally the next step is to get u to confess

 **saltyboo:** oh fuck no

 **saltyboo:** he’s in college how am i supposed to reach out to him

 **our lord and savior:**...Shirabu, his college is only twenty minutes away from Shiratorizawa.

 **saltyboo:** HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT

 **our lord and savior:** Setter’s chat

 **shigeru:** WAIT THAT ALSO MEANS WE HAVE SEMI’S SKYPE

 **shigeru:** LET’S SET THEM UP

 **saltyboo:** NO

 **a dead man:** YES

 **toadwada:** this is hilarious plz do it

 **miYAS:** lrts embaeras him

 **starboy:** but were doing something good!! getting him a bf!!

 **saltyboo:** fuck you all

 **kaNOka:** shirabu, think of it this way

 **kaNOka:** you can pine forever and never get an answer from him

 **kaNOka:** or you can tell him and move on if he rejects you

 **kaNOka:** judging from what everyone else says he seems to like you, too

 **kaNOka:** if you tell him, you can at least know what he feels

 **saltyboo:**...that makes sense

 **fucking savage:** listen to her she’s the only one out of all of us that has a bf

 **kaNOka:** I DONT HAVE A BF

 **saltyboo:**...fine i MIGHT confess to semi-san

 **a dead man:** YAY

 **saltyboo:** but i do it my way

 **saltyboo:** if any of you interfere i’ll murder you

 **saltyboo:** actually murder you

 **saltyboo:** and i 100% mean it this time

 **_saltyboo_ ** _sent a photo_

 **Atema:**...is that a fucking knife?!

 **i am the tiger:**  R U EVEN ALLOWED TO HV THAT IN THE SHIRATORI DORMS WHAT THE FUCK


	7. hey author? you fucking suck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **miYAS:** i hread speliung mistrakes and was sumoneed whi us takiign my riygjtful typing styule
> 
> **shigeru:** more like typoing style
> 
> **a dead man:** well the author has to distinguish us SOMEHOW bc shes uncreative lmao
> 
> **segurosnake:** what
> 
> **a dead man:** nvm ignore me im sleep deprived

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been,,,,,two months,,,,,i have Returned from war,,,,,,,
> 
> and my texting style has changed pretty dramatically. i'm in a gc (psst check out my bts chatfic thats based off said gc) and their texting styles have influenced mine,,,,bc im not creative lmao
> 
> im the worst author in the world im soRRY
> 
> also like two days after ch6 furudate revealed that hoshiumi's bday was before teru's meaning hoshi is older whoOPS i tried my best to address that in this chapter but,,,,oh well
> 
> yeah hope you guys enjoy this sorry its so short
> 
> ~
> 
> **TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** Terushima Yuuji
> 
> **fucking savage:** Ennoshita Chikara
> 
> **saltyboo:** Shirabu Kenjirou
> 
> **a dead man:** Futakuchi Kenji
> 
> **shigeru:** Yahaba Shigeru
> 
> **i am the tiger:** Yamamoto Taketora
> 
> **our lord and savior:** Akaashi Keiji
> 
> **segurosnake:** Seguro Akihiko
> 
> **toadwada:** Towada Yoshiki
> 
> **komaki yuzuru:** Komaki Yuzuru
> 
> **Sakusa:** Sakusa Kiyoomi
> 
> **starboy:** Hoshiumi Kourai
> 
> **miYAS:** Miya Atsumu
> 
> **kaNOka:** Amanai Kanoka
> 
> **Atema:** Atema whatever-his-first-name-is

_chat: operation get shirabu a bf_

_(April 17th, 12:45 AM)_

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** its my bday tmrw!!!

**Atema:** literally no one cares

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** SHUT UP i am the eldest i hv the most auhtorityy

**fucking savage:** you can have your authority once you learn how to spell it

**starboy:** and

**starboy:** uh

**starboy:** i forgot but

**starboy:** yesterday was my bday so,,,,,,,technically IM the oldest

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** WHAT

**segurosnake:** plot twist

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** who tf just….FORGETS their own bday??

**starboy:** me? i guess?

**fucking savage:** happy belated bday hoshiumi!

**starboy:** :) thx!

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** HOSUSIHIUMI

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** DONT STEAL MY ATUHORIIY SMH

**shigeru:** have you become miya or something wtf is it with your spelling mistakes

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** stfu im UPSET let me LIVE

**miYAS:** i hread speliung mistrakes and  was sumoneed whi us takiign my riygjtful typing styule

**shigeru:** more like typoing style

**a dead man:** well the author has to distinguish us SOMEHOW bc shes uncreative lmao

**segurosnake:** what

**a dead man:** nvm ignore me im sleep deprived

**a dead man:** ennoshita come cuddle me

**fucking savage:** no.

**a dead man:** D:

===[+]===

_(April 17th, 5:01 AM)_

**kaNOka:** happy early birthday, terushima!

**kaNOka:** and happy late birthday, hoshiumi!

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** amanai, my only ally in this group chat, ily tysm

**kaNOka:** :)

**toadwada:** ur too nice amanai

**toadwada:** i can guarantee that the vast majority of us hate terushima and dont care abt his bday

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** WOW RUDE

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** WHY IS EVERYONE (except amanai ily) TRYING TO HURT ME LIKE THIS

**shigeru:** delete the group chat then

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** NO NEVER

**Sakusa:** goddamnit

===[+]===

_(April 17th, 5:45 AM)_

**komaki yuzuru:** ….is it normal for you to forget your bday, hoshiumi

**starboy:** um, kinda??

**starboy:** i have five siblings and the oldest one was born in the same week as me, different year

**miYAS:** tahst sad

**miYAS:** ur bday materfs the msot to me hoshi

**starboy:** :D

**Atema:** gay

===[+]===

_(April 17th, 8:01 AM)_

**shigeru:** i bring setter chat tea

**segurosnake:** r they being very chat-tea hahahahahaha

**toadwada:** no puns in this household

**segurosnake:** half of our nicknames r puns

**segurosnake:** including urs

**_toadwada_ ** _’s nickname is now_ **_towada yoshiki_ **

**towada yoshiki:** stfu

**_towada yoshiki_ ** _nickname is now_ **_to-whata dick_ **

**segurosnake:** :D

**to-whata dick:** fucking fight me

**saltyboo:** yahaba if you Value Your Life _do not_ do that

**segurosnake:** dooo it

**a dead man:** ^

**komaki yuzuru:** ^

**saltyboo:** i hate all of you

**shigeru:** get ready for some gud shit

**segurosnake:** *sips tea*

===[+]===

_chat: stupid setters_

_(April 17th, 8:01 AM)_

**semicircle:** kenjirou wasnt at practice when i visited this morning??

**semicircle:** where tf did he go

**futamata:** owo whats this

**futamata:** sudden first-name basis

**futamata:** i thought this was a one-time ordeal semi ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**semicircle:** shut the fuck up

**shigeru:** maybe he skipped practice

**semicircle:** why would he do that tho wtf

**miYAS:** probavly didnft wnat to to deak with thatt Secual Tenison™

**echigo:** tru man

**echigo:** he a coward lil shit

**echigo:** not strong enough to resist the Gay

**semicircle:** what?

**saltyboo:** sorry senpai

**saltyboo:** something came up, i couldn’t come this morning

**miYAS:** were yuo jerking off in th shouweer

**komaki yuzuru:** lmao

**saltyboo:** what the fuck of course not

**shigeru:** denial

**saltyboo:** i’m actually going to kill you all

**semicircle:** whatever the case, kenjirou, coach washijou was pissed so prepare to run fifty laps at afternoon practice

**saltyboo:**...will you be there in the afternoon too?

**semicircle:** probably? i think i have time

**saltyboo:** im not goiung in the afternnoon eiter

**semicricle:**?? kenjirou what the fuck

**saltyboo** soRRY SENPAI SOMETHING ELSE CAME UP

**_saltyboo_ ** _is offline_

**shigeru:** _DENIAL_

**kozken:** *sniffs the air* i smell gay tension

===[+]===

_chat: operation get shirabu a bf_

_(April 17th, 8:09 AM)_

**_shigeru_ ** _ sent a photo _

**_shigeru_ ** _ sent a photo _

**_shigeru_ ** _ sent a photo _

**a dead man:** LMAOOOOO

**i am the tiger:** AJFHAKJFHAKJAH

**i am the tiger:** K E N MA

**segurosnake:** yahaba u were right, this tea is some gud shit

**saltyboo:** I HATE YOU ALL

**saltyboo:** I PANICKED OKAY

**fucking savage:** i’m currently informing kawanishi of this as we speak

**saltyboo:** FUCK YOU ENNOSHITA

**fucking savage:** :D

**our lord and savior:** Shirabu...I didn’t know you were such a coward.

**saltyboo:** SHUT THE FUCK UP

**a dead man:** u sure u dont want us to interfere?

**a dead man:** bc at this point it looks like that by urself u cant do anything

**saltyboo:** SHUT UP I CAN HANDLE IT BY MYSELF

**our lord and savior:** By constantly avoiding him and thus ruining your high school volleyball career?

**saltyboo:** …..

**fucking savage:** hey shirabu, kawanishi replied and said he would forcibly drag you to practice lmao

**saltyboo:** GODDAMNIT

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** face ur fears shirabu

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** conquer them

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** get urself that bf

**our lord and savior:** Stop being useless and alone.

**i am the tiger:** ^

**Atema:** ^

**saltyboo:** ITS NOT THAT E A S Y

**komaki yuzuru:** get kawanishi to confess for you or something lmao

**saltyboo:** N O

**komaki yuzuru:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ have fun being alone then

===[+]===

_(April 17th, 3:43 PM)_

**saltyboo:** taichi’s trying to chase me down and drag me to practice wtf i have to hide in a closet

**saltyboo:** i hate you so much ennoshita

**a dead man:** oh, how the tables have turned

**fucking savage:** y e s

**fucking savage:** kawanishi taichi, doing god’s work

**saltyboo:** but i already told semi that i wasn’t gonna go?????

**Sakusa:** and who’s fault is that? entirely yours

**saltyboo:** i

**saltyboo:** fuck

**a dead man:** wow sakusa

**a dead man:** ily

**Sakusa:** :/

**a dead man:** _...y will no one love me_

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** relatable

**kaNOka:** shirabu, just say you had a doctor’s appointment but it was cancelled

**kaNOka:** or something like that

**saltyboo:** ok

**saltyboo:** thanks, amanai

**shigeru:** smh shirabu you’ll never date semi at this rate

**_saltyboo_ ** _’s nickname is now_ **_no novio rip_ **

**shigeru:** novio means bf in spanish lmao

**no novio rip:** Yahaba Shigeru.

**miYAS:** oh shti hes typung like akashi niw

**a dead man:** smh author be consistent

**no novio rip:** You have five seconds to get the fuck out of Japan.

**no novio rip:** Or there will be no mercy for what befalls upon you and your loved ones.

**Atema:** look at that fancy vocabulary word oooooooh

**shigeru:** lmao you’re so short though do you need a ladder

**i am the tiger:** OOOOOOOH SNAP

**no novio rip:** You will die a slow, painful death.

**no novio rip:** I’ll kill yojhfaskjghkjgsbnjkanGGHKJ

**starboy:**?

**no novio rip:** hey tis me ur hero kawanishi taichi

**TeruMEMEa Yuuji:** AYY

**fucking savage:** we’ve been saved

**no novio rip:** :))

**no novio rip:** im curretnly trying ot retraun kenjirou, hes so fucking pisssed lmaooooo

**no novio rip:** he hid in a closet, too, wonder if hes ready to come out of it hm

**shigeru:** nah he’s such a chicken

**no novio rip:** hes grtting there

**our lord and savior:** Doesn’t seem like it…

**no novio rip:** trust me

**no novio rip:** k tiem to drag him to practice so taht coach doenst murder us both

**no novio rip:** if u dont hear frim kenjirou ever agaiun assume hes dead

**no novio rip:** eitehr in the hands of coach from punsihent or semi from his, to quoet kenjirou, “annoynigly hot face”

**to-whata dick:** he….actually said that?

**komaki yuzuru:** he actually said that to _you?_

**no novio rip:** yee

**no novio rip:** im his bff i get privelegds

**no novio rip:** k bye yall time for us to coem out of the closet

**no novio rip:** im confisating kenjirous phone tho so u mght hear mroe from me

**fucking savage:** YAY

**shigeru:** “annoyingly hot face” i’m-

**shigeru:** wow

**a dead man:** i cant believe how aggresivvely shirabu used to deny his crush

**a dead man:** and now….

**a dead man:** *wipes tear* our short child has grown so much

**fucking savage:** ? futakuchi you’re not his dad

**a dead man:** well i am the captain of this ship

**shigeru:** the ship called semishira

**a dead man:** yES

**a dead man:** good shit

**a dead man:** we’ll be co-captains

**shigeru:** yes

**segurosnake:** co-dads

**shigeru:** sure that too

**our lord and savior:** In dire times like these, unusual alliances are formed.

**a dead man:** exactly :D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also i did "no novio" bc in my spanish class theres a guy who vehemently denies ever having a gf even though he's had like two before and is currently dating another girl from the grade below us so his nickname is "no novia". other nicknames for him include: depression pants (he told the teacher he was wearing compression pants and she misheard him) and 3 o'clock train (bc the 3 o'clock train is always late, and so is his train of thought lmao)

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](http://xjialin.tumblr.com/)


End file.
